Don’t worry, ladies. Just in case you didn’t get enough of Bachelor Sean sans shirt last time, never fear. In typical Bachelor tradition, this week’s episode begins with “Shirtless Sean” working out and explaining that he’s “really digging” a lot of the women. And if his lips are any indictor, that may very well be the truth.
Lesley M., a D.C. political consultant, is the recipient of the week’s first one-on-one date. After a limo ride to Hollywood Boulevard, the couple make their way to the Guinness World Record Museum. Let’s face it, nothing says “amazing first date” like spending the day at a cheesy tourist trap, right? But, wait! It gets better. In front of a cheering crowd, Sean and Lesley attempt to beat the three minute and sixteen second Guinness record for “longest on-screen kiss.” As if it is a sign of true love, the pair accomplishes the feat without a hitch.
Once the old record goes down in flames, Sean and Lesley make their way to the top of the Roosevelt Hotel where they get to know each other better over a glass of champagne. Lesley admits how crazy it is she has such strong feelings for him after only two weeks. (Truer words were never spoken.) Undeterred by her honesty, Sean gives her a rose, thereby ensuring her safety during the next round of elimination. Lesley goes on to tell the camera that she’s falling in love with our bachelor and we cut back to the couple sharing another kiss on the rooftop while confetti falls from the sky. Who says romance is dead?
Back at the mansion, the next date card arrives. This time, twelve of the ladies will be joining Sean on a group date at the beach. Their day on the sunny sands of Southern California provides yet another excuse for Sean to frolic bare-chested and for the girls to strip down to their bikinis. However, this isn’t a leisurely day at the beach for the contestants. Instead, it’s all about a hyper-competitive game of volleyball where the victorious team wins additional “Sean time” while the losers must go home. After one of the worst games of beach volleyball ever played (seriously, Misty May-Traenor would have poked her eyes out if she were watching), the “blue” team won, leaving the “red” team literally crying in the sand.
The six members of the “blue” team head back to Sean’s bachelor pad where each is given a little personal attention. Lindsay, the wedding-gown-wearing substitute teacher, confesses to Sean that she’s “amazed” by him and that he’s “everything she’s been looking for.” Apparently borderline stalker-ish revelations turn Sean on, because it isn’t more than a few moments before they start making out.
While Desiree’s performance at the art gallery last week was fairly impressive, her behavior fell a little short in this episode. When Sean tells her that he “loves” her confidence during their one-on-one, sweet Desiree responds by asking, “Really?” in a supremely unconfident way. (Note: The correct response to a man’s compliment is “Thank you.”) Sean doesn’t seem to mind, however, and makes out with her, too.
The “Hot Mess of the Week” moment came during Kacie’s time with Sean. The former contestant on a previous season of “The Bachelor” who decided to return this season because of her romantic feelings for Sean, tried to pull a fast one but got called to the carpet instead. In an effort to make herself look good and the other ladies look bad, Kacie tells Sean about the conflict between Desiree and Amanda. In a moment of rare intelligence and insight, Sean asks her why she’s involving herself in the drama. He goes on to say that he wants her to “act like Kacie” instead of the “crazy person” he’s seeing right now. Well done, Sean. And shame on you, Kacie.
AshLee, the personal organizer from Houston, receives the invitation for the next one-on-one date with Sean. Obviously excited, AshLee predicts her date will be perfect and that “nothing will go wrong.” Famous last words. As soon as the sentiment is uttered from her mouth and moments before Sean arrives to pick AshLee up, troublemaker Tierra suffers a spill down the stairs. Naturally, this takes the attention off AshLee and puts it squarely on Tierra who refuses treatment from the paramedics and chooses to canoodle with Sean in lieu of a trip to the hospital.
Once the drama with Tierra is over, Sean and AshLee hop in a jeep and head to Magic Mountain where they have the entire theme park to themselves. Well, sort of. In another one of his famous “tests,” Sean has - unbeknownst to AshLee - invited a couple of surprise guests. He explains he wants to see how she’ll handle sharing their time together with others. The guests are two chronically ill girls from the Starlight Children’s Foundation who are not only big fans of amusement parks, but of “The Bachelor,” as well. Naturally, AshLee has no problem including them on the date. (Can you imagine the evil-hearted nightmare you’d have to be to be upset about that?)
Not to be outdone by the crying of the other girls, AshLee, too, sheds tears when discussing how touched she was by her day at Magic Mountain. And, of course, the duo are able to spend some alone time once the sun sets. During their deep conversation, AshLee tells Sean about the abuse she suffered at the hands of a foster family and how her adoption into a loving family came about. To her surprise, Sean gets all Angelina Jolie and tells her that it’s always “been on his heart” to adopt children someday. Cut to: more making out.
At the cocktail party, Sean has a surprise for Sarah and takes her out in front of the house. As a limo pulls up, she begins to cry and flip out saying, “Please don’t send me home!” However, a one-way ticket home isn’t in the cards for Sarah. Instead, he’s brought her beloved dog for a visit. How sweet of him!
The remainder of the cocktail party is spent in a game of “musical Sean.” Girl after girl interrupts his alone time and pulls him away from whichever lady he’s currently talking to. While an observer might deem this behavior to be desperate and cloying, Sean describes it as “catty.” Yes, Sean. It’s that, too.
The rose ceremony provided one semi-twist. Before he hands out the first rose, Sean pulls Kacie aside. Away from the other girls, he tells her he has too much respect for her to put her through a rose ceremony if he knows they’ll never be more than friends. Buh-bye, Kacie. That’s what backstabbing will do for you. By trying to make other girls look bad, you’re the one who comes off badly.
During the rose ceremony itself, Kristy and Taryn are sent packing. Whatever. Like either one of them was interesting enough to care about. After tonight’s big yawn of an episode, here’s hoping next week will provide for a little more intrigue and surprise.
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