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The Asbestos Tampons’ St. Patrick’s Day showcase at Phil’s Radiator

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PUEBLO, Colo.—The Asbestos Tampons shocked and awed at Phil’s Radiator, on March 18. They were the direct support, American Mourning was the opening act and Red Elvises was the headliner.

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Brian “Crimson Cain” McCain plays the synthesizer and keyboard, Kyle “Captain Tampon” Sutherland is the vocalist and guitarist, Adam “Scorpion Death Ray” Chiszar is the drummer of The Asbestos Tampons. McCain also provides additional vocals.

Sutherland greeted the crowd twice, before he asked them if they wanted to hear a song about sexually transmitted diseases. He stated the song was about genital warts and began The Asbestos Tampons’ concert with “Wartez”. McCain shouted the song title multiple times; with his left arm lifted and his palm opened each time. As he shouted the song title’s name— Sutherland raised his guitar in a vertical position above his head, strummed it and spectators gathered closer to the stage.

Chiszar and Sutherland accompanied each other, for the start of “Swamp Donkeys”. Shortly after, McCain joined and played the keyboard. As Chiszar was striking his drums—the green handkerchief wrapped around his head, fell down, rested upon his left shoulder and stayed there for the remainder of the song. After the song came to end, a request was made by a fan and Sutherland promised they would get to the song soon.

Prior to “Where’s My Dinner, B***h?”, Sutherland dedicated the song to the female attendees. He encouraged those who knew the words to sing along. They sang along with them—as some wrapped their arms each other’s neck, as they did so. Prior to the chorus, Sutherland encouraged them to assist him with the vocals. As the song was coming to a conclusion—one onlooker stood on the stage with his back facing the general admission area and sang into Sutherland’s microphone.

McCain left the audience to vote which song they wanted The Asbestos Tampons to end with. He gave them a choice between “Blumpkin” and “The Stupidest Song Ever Written (Madonna)”. The majority voted for “The Stupidest Song Ever Written (Madonna)”. He went onto play the synthesizer and alternated vocals with Sutherland, every so often. After the song came to an end, the onlookers yelled for one more song and began to chant “Blumpkin” several times over.

“Turbo Lopez”, “Mexican Food”, “Santiagos”, “Oregon Trail”, “Pony Boy”, “God D**n, Jehovahs” and “B**w Me” were also a part of The Asbestos Tampons set.

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