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The Art of Giving and receiving

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So we have Valentine's Day, birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, anniversaries, Sweetest Day, and I'm sure there are more. More for what and why? Well, more for giving presents, that's what and why. We love to give presents, and we all love to receive presents. For some people it becomes a competition. For others it makes them feel good. Some, for the longest time, could not do it for economic reasons until they could finally afford to do so. There is a growing few that seem to be taking it for granted. Maybe you are one of them or the one taking the brunt end of granted.

I know from whence I speak, and that whence is experience. The point I am trying to make, and I think it is a really valid and a possible marriage saving point, is appreciation. We need to think before we put both feet in our mouths about what to say when receiving a gift. Etiquette tells us we should be gracious and say thank you. Adding a kiss and a hug adds to the sincerity of it all. If we were all evolved from whatever in the past millions of years, it probably would an okay behavior not to. We are not, therefore, we should stop and think about how etiquette could improve our relationships.

When giving a gift, we shouldn't think about telling the significant other about how much it would improve their behavior, looks, manners or any other critical opinions we may harbor. We shouldn't say "we couldn't afford it, but you wanted it, so I got it". That doesn't bring love to the top of the relationship soup. Gifts are to be given with love and sacrifice, without any kind of expectancy of reciprocity.

It also applies when receiving gifts. Words like you shouldn't have may be acceptable, but some people seem to want to go on from there. It may sound innocent, at times, and it may look like it fell on deaf ears. When you go on to “we can't afford that” to “you should have put the money to paying off the bills”, it doesn't come close to showing sincerity if you did say thank you. In fact it, either as a giver or a receiver, you kind of stab the party of the second part and twist that knife to the point that that party wants to trade you in. Or, worse yet, taking it back for something you think you like better or just for the monetary refund for yourself. You maybe hurting the other far worse than you realize.

When you give or receive, it is from the heart. Most people operate with heart emotions, some could be fragile, some could be solid. Whichever spectrum you are on, you must realize it is from the heart, and know it is the thought behind it, not some random act. Some people need to take lessons on how to give and how to receive, otherwise their relationship could be doomed.

So when you have the occasion to celebrate again, remember this: give from the heart, receive from the heart. It is the thought behind it, or the thought that counts. Remember this also, sincerity plus hugs plus kisses equals a loving relationship.

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