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The Art of Disciplining

Pros and cons come with the disciplining children. Its very important  to look each alternative.
Pros and cons come with the disciplining children. Its very important to look each alternative.
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He who spearth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him be times ( Proverbs 13:24)

From the beginning of civilization, physical discipline has always been the standard of deferring negative behavior. But why do we always utilize this behavior? A lot of people utilize physical discipline because they were brought up this way and acknowledge no other way. But why do people use it as a last resort? Many people feel that physical discipline will keep a child in order, to help build character, and even make them a better adult. But do parents ever consider the risks of physical punishment?
The Odds of Physical Punishment
• Physical Problems
When discipliners are giving physical punishment, it can lead to leaving bruises and injuries.
• Emotional Problems
Physical discipline can cause depression and aggressive issues in a child.
• Interference with Parent-Child Relationship
If a parent constantly uses physical punishment to correct a behavior, it can interfere with building a relationship.
• Lacks Sympathy and Empathy
Physical punishment does not teach empathy or sympathy and could decrease it in your child.

• Violent Behaviors
The usage of physical punishment can create violent behaviors within the child when something does not go their way.

When parents do utilize physical discipline there are some key factors that need to be put in place to ensure to have a positive outcome. Here are a list of do’s that a parent should follw when giving a child physical punishment:

• Do not spank children when you are angry
When parents spank children while they are angry, often times they can become sidetracked from why they were disciplining the child and placing focus that we are angry. If a parent becomes angry during the physical punishment, they need to stop immediately.

• Discipline the child in a timely manner
This rule goes well with small children. It is important that the children are redirected once the incident has occurred. If the discipline happens well after the act, the child has difficulty in comprehending why they are getting discipline.
• Talk to your child
Once a child is disciplined, you should take the time afterwards and explain why you spanked them. You should also state what your expectations are for the behavior decrease. Make sure that you speak in calm and nurturing manner and that you are at eye level with them. This let the child knows that you are sincere about what you are saying.

Alternative Discipline

In this new era of discipline, parents are beginning to utilize alternatives to discipline children from behavior changes. A lot of new age parents feel that physical punishment is very harsh and that in order to discipline a child, that you need to get into their mind. Here are few tips that a parent can take in place of physical punishment:

• Time Out is really in
When your child is displaying disobedience, place them in an area where they off to themselves that are not enjoyable for them. They should remain in time that equals their age. (Ex. A six year old should be in time out for six minutes) Afterwards, ask the child why were they placed in time out what behavior would have been appropriate. Make sure that you are talking in a nurturing tone and you are at eyelevel when you are talking with them.

• Taking away a few of their favorite things
A lot of times children become immune to physical discipline or just tough it out for a brief moment, shed a few tears, and go back to their daily activity without the thought of their physical punishment. But have they truly learned their lesson? Studies have shown that taking items away from kids can be as effective as a physical discipline. But the key to making this effective is to find out what they truly enjoy. Parents usually think that it is the obvious things such as toys, videogames, and television to name a few. Sometimes, what we may think is a great joy for them may not possibly be it. Look into what they like to wear or a favorite activity they like to take part in. This comes with knowing your child consider that they can live and live without.

No matter parents decide to discipline their children, it is very important to ask important questions: Does the punishment fit the crime? How will the punishment style affect the child in the long run? Do I have a balance with my child in regards to punishment? With these questions being looked at, not only will it help you decide which way to go, but it will also help you have a positive relationship with your child.

For more information: www.drspock.com
www.peadiatrics@emory.edu/divisions/neonatology/dpc/alternat.html
 

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