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'The Amazing Race 16' recap: America, be embarrassed

"We're off to China!"
"We're off to China!"
CBS

"The Amazing Race" is a show about characters. While it's certain incredible to see a variety of locations from around the world, the reason why this show has won so many Emmys is simple: there are teams that people want to root for. Where would we be without underdogs like Uchenna & Joyce or Ron and Christina? The answer is simple: this season. So many characters are doing ridiculously dumb things (getting the wrong currency, not reading their clues), longtime "TAR" watchers are probably scratching their heads.

Instead of doing typical recap, I'm instead going to go through the teams based on order of placement.

1. Jeff & Jordan: If there were a number of teams with more serious relationships on this season, than the "Big Brother" sweethearts would fit in perfectly. Both Jeff and Jordan are funny, even if they may be lacking in terms of common sense at times. (Jordan at one point thought they were off to China instead of Chile.)

I will give the team credit for a first-place finish this leg -- but I don't expect them to keep it up.

2. Monique & Shawne: On the surface there's a lot to like with this team: they're strong, hard-working moms with a ton of determination. They did the cable-crossing roadblock fairly quickly, and never seemed to complain.

Here's my concern with this team, and it's one you'll see many times on here. Where's the tension in the relationship? We've seen too many teams like this already on the show.

3. Jet & Cord: These guys are funny even if they are the "stunt athletes" of the season. Think of them as Flight Time & Big Easy, only in cowboy form. They're fun, goofy, and likable: but there's not much potential for growth there.

4. Steve & Allie: The editing did a weird thing with this father-daughter team in Chile. Although they started off having trouble finding a house to paint after the roadblock (so much that they ended up painting inside a house), they still managed to place fourth.

That said, the show does have something to explore with this team: dad's gone all of the time for work, and their relationship may have suffered for many years.

5. Joe & Heidi: Here's the Lance & Keri of this season! This married couple didn't really give us any memorable moments during this episode, and I barely even know who they are.

6. Carol & Brandy: Congrats, Carol & Brandy! This couple lasted even though I called them as the first team off. While they do come across as annoying at times, they are also one of the few "original" sort of teams on this season. I haven't seen them before, so they're interesting to watch.

7. Catie & Brent: Catie is coming across as incredibly unlikable, which is interesting considering most of her fame is built around a punch line from a beauty pageant. This couple will probably fight a lot, but I don't know how serious their relationship is yet.

8. Dan & Jordan: If I hear the words "I love you, bro" one more time, I'm likely to mute the TV the rest of the season. I had high hopes that these brothers could be the younger Ken & Gerard from the show's early days; instead, they were just frankly irritating.

9. Louie & Michael: The detectives are a little cockier than I was hoping for them to be, which seriously hurts their likability factor. Within the span of 24 hours I've gone from predicting them to win to thinking they'll be out in the next few weeks.

10. Jody & Shannon: This story of a fit grandma taking on the world is fun, but we weren't really given much screen time about it. I'd rather see this team than Jeff & Jordan, especially since I saw them three days a week over the summer.

11. Dana & Adrian: Alas, we have our first casualty...a team who made a silly decision at a roadblock. Allowing a big guy like Adrian to try and cross a wire bridge doesn't make much sense. Not only did they place last, but they also had the dubious honor of getting eliminated by Phil at the Roadblock.

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So, if this isn't any indication, this season premiere was a bit of a letdown. Too many teams feel like carbon copies of previous contestants, and Jeff & Jordan aren't as funny without some heavy-duty drama going on around them.

Who do you think will win "The Amazing Race?" Let me know your thoughts with a comment!

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Matt Carter is a poet, journalist, and screenwriter from Dallas, TX. A former reality and game show contestant, he published his first book, "Storms of Change," in May 2008. He can be reached here.

Comments

  • learn to tell time 2 years ago

    Jordan is as dumb as a lamp post, the girl can't tell time for God sakes! If she wins the show being that dumb I'll never watch this show again, it was an embarrassment that she won big brother.

  • Maria 2 years ago

    Who to root for is a very good question indeed. My 4 kids + 1 neighbor kid and I love TAR and made a party out of the premiere. Our party snacks were most excellent, but the show was a bit of a disappointment. It appears that my kids(6 year-old included) have a much better grasp on geography--not to mention international currencies-- than many of the contestants!

  • Louise 2 years ago

    Before watching Episode 1, I believed and still believe that Monique and Shawne have one of the best shots at winning the Million. As attorneys, they should have a strong drive and work ethic, and should make educated choices. If they weren't fit enough to accomplish the physical challenges of the race, I don't believe they would be contenders. Their communication skills should be A-1 which also could give them an edge over some of the others.

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