The 5 secrets to a happy and successful long distance relationship

When it comes to giving advice about long distance relationships, the question I get asked more than any other is: How do you do it? Or, what is your secret? I always used to shrug and say, "It just works." After five years of being in a steady long distance relationship, and after hours of self reflection, I have pinpointed the 5 secrets to being in a happy and successful long distance relationship.

1. Your partner has to be the One. So many times, couples in long distance relationships try to make it work with a person who is just not right for them. This could include deciding to be in an LDR before or right after you have met someone so you have not had enough time to figure out if this person is even worth all of the sacrifice and the commitment. When long distance couples are not sure if they are truly committed or in love with their partner, this could lead to resentment or even cheating.
2. Communicate as often as possible. When my partner and I were long distance, we would try to talk on the phone every day, even just to say goodnight, and video chat once every one to two weeks. I have spoken to individuals who had not heard from their partner in a week and were questioning whether or not they were still in a relationship. Speak to your honey as much as possible. The only exception should be if your sweetheart is on vacation abroad and does not have their telephone. In instances such as these, there is still email.
3. Trust is the foundation of all successful long distance relationships. Not trusting your partner can lead to paranoia about who he is with and what he is doing. Worrying about these issues constantly is never healthy for a relationship and can add unnecessary tension to the relationship from a distance because there is not really a way for you to find out what your partner is up to unless you ask them and even then, you have to trust that they are telling the truth.
4. Do not take anything too seriously. If your partner falls asleep before he can call you, or if he goes somewhere without letting you know, this should not be a reason for a fight. Many long distance couples are not happy in their relationships because they argue excessively and bicker about things that do not matter much in the long run. And when you do not have the chance to resolve problems in person and make up, these arguments are amplified to seem much worse than they actually are. Learn to laugh off the small stuff and solve problems when they arise.
5. Love above all else will get you through. About a year into my long distance relationship, I met a woman in San Jose who was in a long distance relationship with a man in Los Angeles. I was shocked when I found out that every weekend, she would take a 15-hour Greyhound bus ride to spend 2 days with her sweetheart. I asked her why she would do that and she said, "Because I love him." In long distance relationships, it is easy to forget sometimes that you are in love and that you are loved. Do whatever it takes not to let your love escape because that is what will keep you and your partner together and happy for as long as it takes.

If you communicate with, trust, and love your partner, not take it all so seriously and are certain that you are supposed to be with your sweetheart, you will able to arise from your long distance relationship together and happier than ever before.