Romantic....or just annoying?
Benjamin Franklin got it wrong when he said that the "only things certain in life are death and taxes"; what he should have said was that the only certain things are death, taxes, and romance in fiction.
Romance -- for good or for ill -- is an immovable fixture in fiction, whether it be classic, post-modern, pulp, or hoity-toity: love makes the world, and the printing presses, go round.
Of course, not all of the fictional romances that readers are subjected to are worth the paper they are printed on, and some are so downright annoying, their creators should be the first against the wall when the revolution begins. Just when you feel your faith in ever again finding a good writer who can skillfully portray an uplifting romance without bogging down in melodramatic drivel, however, you'll run across a literary relationship that epitomizes everything we all look for in love.
Here are the top 5 of both: the 5 most annoying literary romances, followed by the 5 most inspiringly romantic fictional liasons.
The 5 most annoying literary romances
Dysfunctional romance at its melodramatic worst
1. Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
The only thing more insufferable than Mr. Collins is a woman who willingly shackles herself to him for life. Even though I've read this book countless times, I still cringe every time Elizabeth stays with the pair and sees their married life firsthand. Nothing Stephen King ever wrote could be as horrific.
2. Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
While I love Shakespeare, I've always detested this pair of impetuous, hot-blooded lovers. Not only do I find the whole love-at-first-sight thing bothersome, their ridiculous inability to think any situation through calmly and rationally (not to mention that Romeo marries Juliet before the corpse of his love for Rosalind is even decently cold) is tiresome.
3. Heathcliff and Cathy Earnshaw from Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights
I hated this book so much I could barely force myself to finish it. I've never understood why readers consider Heathcliff and Cathy's relationship to be so romantic -- dysfunctional and destructive seems closer to the mark to me. And who needs enemies when you can count on your supposed devoted lover to do his best to destroy the life of your only child?
4. Tess and Angel Clare from Thomas Hardy's Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Maybe it's the overwhelming melodrama of the story or maybe it's the bare-faced double standard Angel exercises when it comes to Tess; either way, I've always found their quasi-relationship practically unreadable. Incidentally, I'm not the only one: if you've been reading Hardy and need something to wash away the melodrama, cast an eye on Stella Gibbons' Cold Comfort Farm. Ms. Gibbons wrote Cold Comfort Farm after reading a few too many Hardy-esque novels; her tolerance snapped and she penned this hilarious spoof as a critique of melodramatic characters, plots, and literary devices.
5. Max de Winter and The Second Mrs. de Winter from Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca
I enjoyed this book immensely; however, is it just me, or does it seem like Max de Winter married his little unnamed school-girl merely because she was the complete opposite of Rebecca? I don't know a lot about these things, but that can't be a healthy foundation for a marriage. The worst part is when, after she finds out about his skeleton in the closet (or boat, as it were), he mourns that she doesn't have "that lost look that I loved." If I were her, I would have taken that comment as a serious insult.
Let's wash these dysfunctional lovers out of our brains now with the Literary Lover's Hall of Fame:
The 5 most romantic literary lovers
1. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
There's a reason why Pride and Prejudice is a universally beloved book: it features one of the most compelling and romantic couples in all of literature. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are believable because they are presented, not exclusively as lovers, but as fallible human beings that, when confronted with each other, learn about themselves in the process of learning about each other.
2. Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre
For about 10 years, Jane Eyre was my absolute favorite book. It not only featured the first English novel heroine that wasn't beautiful, but a plain little creature that ended up getting everything she wanted on her terms -- atta girl! Jane Eyre contains some of the most delightfully romantic scenes in all of literature. My favorite is the one in which Mr. Rochester pretends to be a fortune-telling gypsy in order to find out what Jane thinks about him. I'm no romance fan, but that scene makes me all giggly.
3. Beatrice and Benedick from William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing
Shakespeare may have annoyed me to death with Romeo and Juliet, but he knocked it out of the ballpark with this pair. Beatrice and Benedick are the sassiest, liveliest pair in literature, both just as willing to laugh at themselves as at someone else. If you haven't yet seen it, Kenneth Branaugh's film adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing, starring himself and Emma Thompson as Benedick and Beatrice, is a gem.
4. Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series
As soon as it was revealed in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets that Ron's little sister Ginny had a crush on The Boy Who Lived, I knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable occured, regardless of the Cho Changs and Luna Lovegoods that might seem to get in the way. One of the biggest joys of the series for me was watching and waiting for Harry to finally come to his senses. That scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince when he and Ginny first kiss is one of my favorites out of all seven books.
Note: I caught so much hell for including Harry and Ginny on this list, I was moved to defend my decision. Cast your eye on it, here: In Defense of Harry and Ginny
5. Lord Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane from Dorothy L. Sayer's Lord Peter Wimsey mystery series
Before my heart was stolen by Martha Grimes' creation, Melrose Plant, Lord Peter Wimsey was my ideal man, and his relentless pursuit of the intelligent but not exceptionally beautiful Harriet Vane seemed the height of perfection to me. Lord Peter Wimsey meets Harriet in Strong Poison and pursues her through several books until their marriage at the beginning of Busman's Honeymoon. It's a pity that Busman's Honeymoon is such an appallingly bad book (actually, the worst book Dorothy Sayers ever wrote, in my opinion). The rest, however, are pure magic.
A note to Twlight haters and Twilight lovers alike on why Edward Cullen and Bella Swan aren't on either list:
While I didn't hate Edward and Bella, I didn't think they merited "most romantic" status either. I find that the love-at-first-sight thing, as well as the you-are-my-only-love-thing-but-Jacob's-pretty-great-too thing prevented me from considering them as an inspiring romance; additionally, I've reacted much worse to too many other literary couples to place them on the most annoying list.
So, what literary couple did I leave out? Let us know: leave a comment below or direct your opinions to michellekerns@surewest.net
Comments
Aww, you really have to give Romeo and Juliet a break. They were Italian after all. Shakespeare got it right even down to the ethnic stereotype. It seems the English have always had a fascination with/are horrified by passionate Italian love affairs ruled by the heart rather than the mind. Perhaps that's why the passionate Romeo and Juliet end up sharing the same funeral pyre and the milquetoast Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas spend the rest of their days in sensible (very English) marital boredom.
Ahhhhh. Thanks for "linking" of me.
:-)
For me the most romantic couple ever- EVER- are: Melrose Plant and Richard Jury! *grin*
I just hope neither of them will ever get married. I want to imagine them spending their old age together peacefully in Ardry End- like Champs and Neame: Lifelong friends. (And I can't help the feeling, Melrose would never get married, because he wouldn't be free any more to "run whenever Jury whistles"! :-)
Very kind regards and a happy Valentine's day from one Melrose lover to another!
Harry Potter and the Princess Weasley, I would think they would be on your WORST List. Now I know, that anything you suggest sucks and anything you Hate is worth a second look.
Sorry.
Truth is Truth
Harry and Ginny are not a romantic couple! Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet are a romantic couple not them!
I would have Bella/Edward up there, but I'm not sure whose place they should take on the worst list. Maybe the last, as I haven't read that.
Jane Eyre <3
Charlotte/Collins. They make me cringe so bad. I can understand why she did it though, especially in that age.
I love Harry and Ginny, I have to say I'm not surprised to see people whining here, they can't seem to help themselves.
Pat,
In that case, I should send you a list of the books I hate the most since you might find something you love.
Incidentally, you might want to check out David Denby's book, Snark, in which he explores the tendency of people to be extremely and unnecessarily rude on the Internet.
Nice one there.;)
This is just another example, in a very long list, that anyone with a computer and access to the internet can try to garner some consequence for themselves.
This 'article' was linked to a private book list under the heading "For your mocking pleasure..."
Your bi-line suggests that your 'romp through Book Land' would be intelligent. Your choices are a disappointment and do not do you credit.
I hope you did not read these titles for the 'romance' in them. That would have been a failing on your part.
Thank you for the amusement.
That article had been linked on FAP "Can't Stand the Harry/Ginny pairing" thread, too, so you're becoming quite famous. Welcome to the shipping wars, they are amusing.
Hey everyone snarking relentlessly at me,
I'm tempted to be annoyed, but I won't be because I honestly do love books. Please, to anyone else who comments, snark away at your pleasure, but please do give some examples of who I should have included on the list. Hey, maybe I haven't read the book at all and you'll change my mind. There have been plenty of times that has happened, God knows.
Your disagreements with me could also be due to the fact that I am not a terribly romantic book lover; however, the books I listed in the most romantic bit really were the ones I liked the most, romance wise.
I think Scott nailed it pretty well, in many ways. As for me, senseless teenagers (of every age...) can keep their hot-blooded, thoughtless romances. They clog the arteries of our divorce courts and their devotion dies faster than it takes to button (or unbutton) a pair of pants. And if Italians relish this (I'm part Italian and I don't), then don't let me stand in your way. But do me a favor, say hi to Judge Judy (or whoever your divorce judge is)for me. Lastly, I think this was one of Shakespeare's masterful works -- he titillates while back-handing senseless lovers in one stroke. (Let the hateful responses begin...)
I gotta say I agree with pretty much everything you've said, but especially the Heathcliff/Cathy comments. Those two were, for a very loooooooong time, my personal #1 Lousy Literary Romance. I didn't think anything would ever knock them from the top spot, but then I read Twilight. :p
Michelle, ignore the snarking. FAP is mostly a place for bitter fans of Harry Potter to console each other about the out come of HP, and pat each other on the back when they come up with strange twistings of the text.
They spend a good chunk of their day ranting about a fictional ship and character that broke up their non-existent ships. Mainly Harry/Hermione, Harry/Luna and Harry/Cho. They usually have little of value to say.
Seriously, just ignore them and be happy you don't have the Twilight fandom after your blood instead.
And I totally agree with you about Romeo and Juliet. What a couple of idiots.
And Jane Eyre! I love that book!
Maybe I'll have to read the Lord Peter Wimsey mystery series :)
Oh, I so agree with Beatrice and Benedick. Much love for having them on there!
Well, in my opinion Ron and Hermione are more romantic than Harry and Ginny. I thought twilight would be here, anyway, Harry Potter is better than twilight! :)
I don't think much of your nomination of the "Harry and Ginny" couple from the Harry Potter series.
Rather than focus on Ginny's early juvenile crush I think you should have examined, instead, the actual 'romance' itself, which was sadly lacking in authentic passion to those who wanted to see something more than a childish one-sided infatuation consummated with a kiss initiated by the results of a school sporting match!
I love your list, especially Lizzie and Mr. Dracy and Harry and Ginny. I loved both of those. And finally, someone agrees with me about Romeo and Juliet! I've never been a fan.
edward cullen and bella swan!! of courese from twilight
This is a very fun list for Valentine's Day. I like your choices on both lists, and you're not the first person to tell me how much they didn't like Heathcliff and Cathy Earnshaw.
On your other list, it's quite a fitting list, but in particular I enjoyed seeing a more modern one on there, with Harry and Ginny. I loved how the HP series spent so much time and focus on the children growing up and that included their first crushes and eventually falling in love. Her whole series was fun, but that made it even better.
I loce Elizabeth and Darcy, they are my favorite couple ever. And I adore Harry and Ginny, and Hermione and Ronald. I don't really get why people are aginst Harry and Ginny, both dated others and their friendship developed throug about 5 books from Chamber of the secrets to HBP, I however would've change Ronald and Hermione, Ron was so cute with Luna, and the change that would enver happen Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. And I agree Twilight isn't really a really big "epic love" as many put it. Alice and Jasper were cuter. I heard Vampires Diaries was cuter
You lefet out Rony & Hermione, from J.K. Rowling's harry potter
Duhh
I agree with Liz and Darcy and Jane and Rochester, they are two of my favorite literary couples, and also with Cathy and Heathcliff. They are indeed a very disturbing couple.
And while I love the Harry/Ginny pairing in the series, I think the most romantic couple in Harry Potter should be Ron and Hermione. Their love-hate bickering is fun and everyone knows how much they like each other.
Great choices! This was a fun list for Valentine's day. You can never go wrong with Elizabeth/Darcy. I'm really pleased you included the Harry/Ginny romance, too. They're part of what makes the Harry Potter books so fun. We got to see these characters grow up and ultimately fall in love. I love them together.
So you didn't read Harry Potter, did you?
The most beautiful romance in it is RON & HERMIONE!
Now Lily, that was just plain uncalled for -- of COURSE I read Harry Potter (I even threw a release bash for each book and movie and sat in line in the Easy Listening section of the bookstore until 3am watching weird men listen to snippets of Barry Manilow CDs to get my hands on the Deathly Hallows. I simply did not find the Ron and Hermione romance as appealing. To be honest, I always felt like Hermione was much more of a courageous and honest character than Ron -- maybe that has something to do with it.
I like the Harry/Ginny, but i also love the romance of Ron/Hermione.
I also think that Edward/Bella romance of twilight should be incluind on the list of most romantic.
NOTE: I don't understand the need of hate twilight that the fans of harry potter have. I am a fan of twilight, but i am also a fan of harry potter, and i love both of the series, books our movies.
I think these were great picks for both lists. I admit, I did a happy dance when I saw Harry and Ginny on your list of most romantic.
Ha! It figures that Harry Potter fans would find a way to be more upset about this list than Twilight fans. Michelle, you're handling the reactions quite well.
Come on, people. I like Ron and Hermione well enough but they've been chosen on other lists over Harry and Ginny plenty of times. One list isn't going to hurt you.
Richard Rahl and Kahlan From The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind.
In the first book Wizards First Rule it was a forbidden lust but as the series moved on their love was the strongest there was. They quite litteraly go to the ends of the world, and the underworld tor each other. I just love them togther!
I love both your lists. Perfection! Although I think I would have swapped Bella and Edward for Romeo and Juliet. Both are similar relationships but Bella/Edward annoyed me far more. But that's personal taste :)
As for Harry and Ginny: they are my favourite pair from that series, they're too cute and too perfect for each other. I too knew from Chamber of secrets that the two of them would be together, and seeing it finally happen: awesome. And of course Darcy and Elizabeth and Jane and Rochester are the enduring loves I've had forever.
Lol at the people hating on Harry/Ginny. I can admit that when JK Rowling decided to pair them up that she was seriously lacking in the romantic development part, but that doesn't mean it deserves to be on the worst list.
Fellow Harry Potter fans, don't be pathetic. Don't swipe out another person's opinion just because it doesn't go along with your dream. You can love your Harry/Hermione, Harry/Luna, and Harry/Cho all you want, but don't shatter other people's fulfilled fantasies just because you are undergoing bitter symptoms of "failed favorite pairing" withdrawal.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if any other reasons why you don't like the pairing other than the fact that you thought Harry or Ginny should have been with someone else or because Ron/Hermione just so happened didn't make the list, then it's really time to grow up.
Fantastic lists. I agree with you on both 100%. I'm not surprised at the comments to be honest .. welcome to the HP shipping wars. They are quite pathetic LOL. I've always found H/G the more romantic couple in HP myself .. bickering doesn't mean romantic for me and well I think Ron and Hermione are horribly mismatched. R/Hr may have had more development but not romantic IMO. H/G had just enough development for me without becoming a soppy teenage romance.
"To be honest, I always felt like Hermione was much more of a courageous and honest character than Ron."
Well, Michelle, excuse me for this, I respect your opinion but I think you should read them again, now paying more attention in their characters, not focusing so much in Harry.
Ron saved Hermione from the troll in "Philosopher's stone", went with Harry to the "Chamber of Secrets" to save Hermione and Ginny's lives, stood up with a broken leg in front of Harry and Hermione at the eminence of a Sirius attack in "Prisoner of Azkaban", was part of the "Order of the Phoenix" and save Harry's life in "The Silver Doe" and Hermione's in "Malfoy Manor" chapters of "Deathly Hallows". And he was not "the choosen one".
If all of this don't show his love for Hermione and friendship for Harry, making him a courageous and loyal friend, I don't know what more he'd had to do.
Also, the romance between Ron and Hermione is something that you can read the development through all the books of the serie and not something that happen abruptly. And all of this through Harry's point of view, not the most affectionate character of all times.
"To be honest, I always felt like Hermione was much more of a courageous and honest character than Ron."
Well, Michelle, excuse me for this, I respect your opinion but I think you should read them again, now paying more attention in their characters, not focusing so much in Harry.
Ron saved Hermione from the troll in "Philosopher's stone", went with Harry to the "Chamber of Secrets" to save Hermione and Ginny's lives, stood up with a broken leg in front of Harry and Hermione at the eminence of a Sirius attack in "Prisoner of Azkaban", was part of the "Order of the Phoenix" and save Harry's life in "The Silver Doe" and Hermione's in "Malfoy Manor" chapters of "Deathly Hallows". And he was not "the choosen one".
If all of this don't show his love for Hermione and friendship for Harry, making him a courageous and loyal friend, I don't know what more he'd had to do.
Also, the romance between Ron and Hermione is something that you can read the development through all the books of the serie and not something that happen abruptly. And all of this through Harry's point of view, not the most affectionate character of all times.
I can't believe there are people who think H/G is more romantic than R/Hr.Wth?Really?I couldn't explain it better Lily,good post!And for me Michelle,Ron is much more braver even than Harry.Harry has to fight for his own life but Ron always CHOOSE to fight next to Harry!
harry and ginny soul mates.their relationships very special.but ron and hermione' relationships very ordinary.smart and serious girl,tactless and playful boy.
other hand bella and edward.not special to me.because i write before vampire heart.
I like very much Harry Potters books, but my "lovers" favorites are Lily and James, parents of Harry. I like Ron and Hermione too.
Lily, Michelle is a fan of the books. She's read the books. Perhaps you need to go back and reread as much as you apparently think she does.
Fans are allowed to prefer the Harry and Ginny romance over Ron and Hermione.
WOw!! What "lovely" comments you are having because of the opinion that you voiced..
People, there is no need to pit R/Hr against H/G. JKR have written their romance/relationships/development different from each other. It just so happens that Michelle finds the other one romantic than the other. Does that negate the R/Hr ship, No. They just does not suit the reviewer's taste.. To each his own. I love both pairs, and I am glad that Michelle agreed with one of them. Would it take away my liking for R/Hr. Definitely not! So please, no need to be disrespectful of the reviewer, just because you don't agree with her.
Well, if I reeaaly would be honest, I think the "REAL" romance of the series is between Filch & Mrs. Norris. In all the books, they are the only pair that did not have a single disagreement. Talk about perfect chemistry/understanding of each other.. NOT!!!! LOL!
If I was a R/Hr fan, I'd be ashamed. The people here complaining seem to be just as bad as the H/L, H/C, H/Hr, H/D etc. People have different opinions, deal with it. It'll make life much easier.
Michelle, I love your list and I agree with you on so many of them. THANK YOU for bringing up Heathcliff and Cathy Earnshaw.. romantic? More like creepy and disturbing. Oh, and I find the comments by the Ron/Hermione shippers (who are either 14 years old or too obnoxious to see that this is not, in fact, a list to debate about the relationships in the Harry Potter series) are ridiculously funny. Great job!
This list is half-shyte, I'm sorry. Jane and Rochester? Are you on drugs? Awww, the old pervert takes the young governess for his own and leaves his crazy old wife in the attic. Nice. Let someone else suffer for our love, it's so romantic. As for Catherine and Heathcliff, that wasn't supposed to be romantic. It was supposed to be depressing. Not all stories end with perfect lovey-dovey wedding endings. In fact, it seemed completely realistic. The only redemption here is that you bashed Romeo and Juliet (they had it coming) and that you didn't add Ron and Hermione to the love-list.
I would have loved to see Diana Gabaldon's Claire Randall/Jamie Fraser make the list. They are true love.
Heh. You seem to have a hang-up about love at first sight. It's not a maudlin literary device. Some people experience it: I fell in love at first sight with my husband, and our 15 year marriage is the happiest you could imagine.
That being said, I'm no fan of Romeo and Juliet: they deserve that place. I thought Wuthering Heights was about strong, driven people - not romance (and adored the book as such). I find Jane Eyre and old man Rochester (a user if there ever was one) a lame couple. As for Harry and Ginny, that romance is as much off page as Rowling could make it, short of not mentioning it at all. That romance takes place largely in the fans' minds, and fanfic authors' stories. There's nothing good or bad about it worth mentioning.
If you want a "worst" romance, I put forward Howard Roark and Dominique Francon, from Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead." Not that the book's focus is romance, but still, it's a big part of it.
Meg - Congrats on 15 happy years of marriage! That is a fantastic accomplishment these days, though I still do believe that your situation is the exception rather than the rule. I am totally angry I forgot about Howard and Dominique -- they would have been a perfect addition to the worst pack. What a weird, weird romance that was.
In my opinion Harry and Ginny are one of the least romantic couples ever to grace literature. I state my case at loveromancepassion[dot]com.
EDWARD CULLEN AND BELLA SWAN FOREVER!!!
NO GINNY AND HARRY!!!
Can I just say that your views on Angel and Tess are the bomb? When Angel flipped out on her the way he did, I just wanted to slap him. Most of the second half of the book could have been avoided if he wasn't just a... I don't even know a man who tells his wife that he's slept with another woman and begs forgiveness but can't forgive her....jerk, I suppose.
Ginny and Harry are perfect for each other, I love them. I liked the fact Harry had fallen in love with another girl (Cho Chang) before Ginny, because in real life it is more commom for people to love someone else before the one she/him will marry with. And though I like Edward and Bella, they are not my favorite couple and they wouldn't be on my list, either (if I had one...). it's because that thing of "I love you so much that when I'm without you I can't breathe" is so... ridiculous. And when Bella almost killed herself to hear Edward's voice, oh my god, that was too much - er, stupid, I think. I like Twilight, but I think Meyer's characters are too silly. (and the Black in my name isn't after Jacob, it's after Sirius Black).
And now that Twilight fans are hating me, I'll defend myself. I like Twilight because Meyer writing is amazing. The way she puts the words in order to describe something is wonderful, I write my fanfics trying to make something that looks like it. But even though she is great in some things, she just... er, isn't in other things.
Today I was in a bookstore looking at Breaking Dawn (I haven't got yet 'cause I want to read it in portuguese, first... I'm brazilian) and I saw that USA Times said "Move over, Harry Potter". Wow.
Twilight saga is GREAT, really is, but better than Harry Potter? Never, HP is almost classical, it's because of it that people from this generation like to read. Me, for an instance, started reading because of Harry Potter. And it's because of it that I learned english and now I can write this and understand things in english, even though my english isn't perfect yet (I'm just twelve years old).
*----*
Harry Potter RULEZ
I would add Judy Abbott and Jervis Pendleton from Daddy Long Legs. That said, I liked your lists and loved the comments 8)
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