Admit it. At various points in your life, you have looked someone directly in their eyes and told them a boldface lie. Human beings lie for a variety of reasons: To impress others; to entertain others; to protect themselves from danger, harm or harsh consequences; to put themselves in a position to manipulate and take advantage of others; to put themselves in a position to 'have their cake and eat it too.'
More specifically, men and women will frequently express a number of lies as it relates to their interactions with members of the opposite sex. Usually, when one lies to another, we empathize with the one who is being lied to. Most of the time, we look at the liar as the one who 'got over' on someone.
What most men and women do not realize is, in the long-run, lying just about always comes back to 'haunt' the liar.
For the purposes of this article, all lying is going to be divided into five categories ... from 'least harmful' to 'most harmful.' At least one example will be given of women's most common lies to men, as well as at least one example of men's lies to women.
Here we go . . .
1) 5th Degree Lies: Lies that are designed to impress people and/or entertain people ... or, to prevent people from criticizing you or ignoring you.
Comment: The lies in this category are commonly known as "little white lies." Of all the lies a man or woman can express, these are arguably the least harmful. These lies are usually motivated by a desire to impress people and/or entertain people, or a desire to avoid being criticized or ignored by someone who you are attracted to.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by men: A man telling a woman that he earns a six-figure salary (i.e., $100,000 or more per year), when he really earns somewhere between $85,000 - $95,000 per year.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by women: A woman telling a man that she has never, ever indulged in short-term and/or non-monogamous 'casual sex,' when in reality, she has engaged in at least two or three one-night stands and weekend flings in her life.
How 5th degree lies hurt the ones who are being lied to: These lies have the potential to make people feel 'naive' or 'stupid' for perceiving the things you said to them as totally truthful and valid.
How 5th degree lies hurt the one who is telling the lie(s): People will usually excuse a handful of 'little white lies' told by you, but once you develop a reputation for regularly exaggerating or embellishing facts, it will cause others not to 'take you seriously' and eventually people will start treating you like a 'joker' or 'comedian' who is known for telling amusing partial truths instead of whole truths.
2) 4th Degree Lies: Lies that are designed to give people a misleading impression of what you want from them and why you really want to share their company.
Comment: The lies in this category are commonly known as "manipulative head games." Men and women usually express lies in this category when they are not ready to be open and honest with a member of the opposite sex about why they really initiated a series of interactions with that particular person of interest, and why they ultimately want to share that person's company in the long run.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by men: A man telling a woman that he has "no problem" maintaining a purely platonic friendship with her, when he knows deep-down that he wants a relationship that is more romantic and/or sexual in nature.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by women: A woman telling a man that she finds him 'charming,' attentive, and 'fun to be around,' which gives the man the misleading impression that she has some degree of romantic and/or sexual interest in him, when in reality, she wants nothing more than non-romantic, non-sexual, purely platonic companionship from this man.
How 4th degree lies hurt the ones who are being lied to: The men and women you interacted with will be left feeling as though they were blatantly misled and 'used,' and they will feel like they wasted a significant amount of time, energy, effort, and even money.
How 4th degree lies hurt the one who is telling the lie(s): Over a period of time, people will begin to look at you as a dishonest, disingenuous, and manipulative person and this will ultimately have a negative effect on your future social interactions with members of the opposite sex.
3) 3rd Degree Lies: Lies that are designed to allow you to hide something or deny something about yourself.
Comment: There are 'lies of commission' (i.e., telling someone information that is untrue or invalid) and then there are 'lies of omission' (i.e., purposely hiding information about yourself from someone). Lies in this category are common among people who have many "deep, dark secrets" in their past, or what is known as "skeletons in their closet."
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by men: A man meets a woman and starts dating her, but he conveniently 'forgets' to tell this woman that he used to have a 'friends-with-sexual-benefits' relationship with her first cousin, Samantha.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by women: A woman telling a man that she does not have any children, but she fails to mention that she had two miscarriages and one abortion with her last three boyfriends.
How 3rd degree lies hurt the ones who are being lied to: When the truth finally reveals itself, it is going to severely damage the level of trust between any man and woman who is married or involved in a long-term romantic relationship.
How 3rd degree lies hurt the one who is telling the lie(s): Once the person who you were married to, or in a relationship with, finds out the truth . . . more-than-likely, they are going to share your 'secrets' and 'skeletons' with as many people as possible, which will potentially cause you a high degree of public shame and embarrassment.
4) 2nd Degree Lies: Lies that are designed to allow you to 'have your cake and eat it too.'
Comment: Many men want a wife who is going to be loyal and monogamous, but on their end, they want to enjoy the freedom of a single bachelor. Similarly, some women want a wealthy husband, but they want to 'fool around' occasionally with a broke, unemployed 'bad boy' who provides them with five-star orgasms in bed.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by men: A man 'swears to God' to his wife that he is not having sex with his secretary, but everyone who works in the office with him knows he is bangin' his secretary.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by women: When a woman's husband asks his wife why does her personal health and fitness trainer keep sending her text messages late at night and early in the morning, she tells him that it is because "he wants to keep her focused on eating right and exercising." Meanwhile, the personal trainer is getting all sorts of 'erotic and orgasmic exercise' with one of his favorite female clients.
How 2nd degree lies hurt the ones who are being lied to: The man or woman who was being lied to regularly is going to feel like a naive fool once the truth reveals itself. The hurt emotions can cause them to seek some sort of retribution in the form of public humiliation and stalking, or general attempts at ruining the liar's image and reputation.
How 2nd degree lies hurt the one who is telling the lie(s): Once you earn a reputation for blatantly betraying the trust of a spouse or long-term companion, it is going to be hard for you to shed that image in the near future among those in your social circle. The quality and/or quantity of your future romantic and sexual companions is going to surely diminish to the point where you might be forced to move to a new city, state, or even a new country.
5) 1st Degree Lies: Lies that are designed to prevent you from experiencing harsh financial consequences, physical harm or danger, the end to your career or marriage, or major forms of public embarrassment and humiliation.
Comment: There are "little" lies and then there are BIG LIES. Lies told in this category will usually have catastrophic consequences and repercussions if the truth ever came to light. We're talking the end of a marriage, the end of a career, jail or prison time, various forms of public humiliation and shame, or even in a few cases, death.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by men: What seems like a generous offer by a man to pay for the college tuition of his best friend's daughter, is actually a 'bribe' to keep her from revealing that he committed statutory rape with his friend's daughter from the time she was fifteen years old until the time she was seventeen years old.
Example of a lie in this category that is usually told by women: A married woman offers creative excuses to her close friends and family for why her youngest son seem to look 'different' from his siblings,' when the reality is that her husband is not the father of her youngest boy ... but rather the boy's father is her husband's boss.
How 1st degree lies hurt the ones who are being lied to: The lies in this category could cause a man or woman who was a victim to someone else's lies to become suicidal, temporarily insane, hateful, vindictive, and even murderous.
How 1st degree lies hurt the one who is telling the lie(s): In worst case scenario, you might end up dead for telling one or more lies in this category. At bare minimum, when the truth rises to the surface (as it almost always does), your life as you know it will never, ever be the same again.
Bottom line? Tell the truth even when the easier thing to do is lie. In the short-run, yes ... it might be challenging for you and cause some bruised egos or hurt feelings. In the long-run though, your sense of character and integrity will always remain intact.
For those men and women who naively believe that lying to others allows you to "get over on people," think again. The truth is persistent, and will always find a way to make itself known.
If nothing else, just the fear inside your head that the truth could be revealed will always prevent you from living a truly enjoyable and satisfying life full of peace of mind.
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie's latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format. You can also download a copy of Currie's eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone. Starting with Monday, August 4, 2014, you might be eligible to download a FREE copy of the audiobook version of 'Mode One' on Audible.com. CLICK HERE for more details.
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