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The 2014 Academy Awards: The non-party version!

Well here we are again, pumpkins. It's a wrap for yet another Oscar ceremony. Did your favorites win? Did everything live up to your expectations? Did you actually give a sweet flipperoo for what people were wearing for the event?

An award in the hands of some lucky person.
Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images

If you answered "no" to the last query then Kamerad: welcome to comments about the Academy Awards where the principals could've shown up in burlap sacks for all I cared. I'm fully aware, of course, that actually caring about the movies sort of puts me in the distant minority as far as such things are concerned but, hey, I'm comfortable with it. We all know that Uncle Mikey is hardly an A-lister.

And proud of it.

Anyway, got your notes out? Time for "Match Wits With Uncle Mikey". Let's go back to what I said a month ago and see how I came out against the cold hard light of Reality.

Best Picture: Actually called it for once by picking "12 Years a Slave" as the probable winner. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I amaze myself. I'm sort of surprised how much of the pre-awards press came down to the wire between "12 Years a Slave" and "Gravity" (especially since so many nay-sayers sniffed at the latter film, writing it off as just an impressive technical achievement). There was so much going for "12 Years a Slave" that the only reason the final decision was still in the air was because of the competition. It certainly can't help but make Steve McQueen feel good to consider that he beat out people like Scorsese and Russell.

Best Director: Ah, here's the bone thrown to "Gravity". Knew one would pop up somewhere, just privately delighted that it was such a meaty one, and congratulations to Alfonso Cuaron. Some of you might be snickering at the thought that my personal preference, Scorsese, didn't win. But hey: if I couldn't live with disappointment I never would've started critiquing American movies.

Best Actor: OK, personally glad to see Matthew McConaughey get a pat on the noggin for his work in "Dallas Buyers Club". I was going with either Chiwetel Ejiofor or Christian Bale so there my trouble with the curve. But with so many nominations for "12 Years a Slave", "Gravity" and "Dallas Buyers Club" the awards break had to fall somewhere (which, of course, doesn't really explain what happened with "American Hustle" except to consider that the competition was just too heavy this year . . . sorry, Russell).

Best Actress: I'm personally looking forward to the day when acting awards are issued without regards to gender. Then we'll see some smokin' in regards to competition. Anyway . . . I was going with either Cate Blanchett or Amy Adams, and Blanchett took home the statue. Too bad for us Judi Dench fans in the audience (and the best chance for "Philomena" to cop an award). But, as I'm also a Blanchett fan, I can't be too disappointed.

Best Original Screenplay: OK, so I predicted Borten and Wallack for "Dallas Buyers Club" in the "throw the film a bone" category, but didn't count on McConaughey getting the Best Actor Award. You see how these dominoes fall? So here's where Spike Jonze's "Her" (my preference for this category) got the bone. If I were Jonze I could live with that.

There. As usual my score didn't come out so good (once again underlining why Uncle Mikey doesn't go to Vegas to gamble), but overall I'm not too unhappy with the results. And, as I noted, this was a tough year.

Other awards?

Personally I would've liked to have seen "Ernest & Celestine" win for Best Animated Feature Film. But that's just me. And, even if "Gravity" didn't pick up the Best Picture award, at least it came out ahead in the "Give the Film Anything Else Left Over Just To Keep 'The Hobbit' From Taking Home Anything" category.

So. How'd you people do?

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