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The $19,000 break-up


Emeril Lagasse and Jessica Simpson on the set of Macy's Come

Together campaign commercial - Photo Credit - K.C. Bailey (AP)

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Now here’s a fiery end to a long-distance relationship. Many couples experience an unsettling dismantling of their intertwined lives when they break up. It’s never fun to go to the residence of a former lover and retrieve belongings that were symbols of a stable domestic situation just weeks or even days ago. One can feel many different things during this unpleasant experience—shame, anger, confusion, an overall haunting sense of “Where did it all go wrong?”

But imagine the feeling that singer and actress Jessica Simpson must have felt when she discovered that, according to this July article in US Weekly, the home of Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback she had been dating for two years, was completely off-limits to her. The story also reports that Simpson paid $19,000 to ship her belongings overnight from his home to her Los Angeles home. So perhaps she wasn’t about to come anywhere near Romo’s gated residence, but Romo apparently made sure that there was no question regarding whether she was welcome. A sign was posted at the entrance to Romo’s home informing his security force that Simpson was not to be allowed in under any circumstances.

No matter who is to blame for a break-up, the separation afterwards can be very painful. A certain maturity level by both parties can help make things a little easier. The person in possession of the other’s belongings has a responsibility to be level-headed and not do damage to those belongings, no matter the temptation. He should make sure that her things will be in one piece when she gets them back. The person retrieving possessions has a responsibility to get those things from the ex. She shouldn’t expect him to drive or ship her things back to her. She should also be prompt about the retrieval process, as a courtesy and also because the odds of her things staying in one piece decrease the longer she leaves them with the ex; he may welcome a new sweetheart into his home who decides that she dislikes that red dress, for example.

A woman who dumped me in the summer of 2004 handled things as well as possible. She had belongings in my apartment, and she lived four hours away by car, but instead of demanding that I send her stuff to her, she made the drive and picked her things up herself. No arguing, no tears, no drama. She even resisted the urge for “one last fling,” something I probably would have been down for because I wasn’t in favor of the break-up. But it definitely would not have been a good idea. A clean getaway was the only option for us, and by keeping her visit to less than five minutes, she made sure that her goal of getting in, getting her gear, and getting out was achieved.

The end of a long-distance relationship can be peaceful when cooler heads prevail. It’s not easy in the heated moments right after the actual separation. But compared to the prospect of having to tell security to keep the ex off the property or shelling out five figures for a UPS delivery, chilling out and acting like grown-ups is certainly the better alternative.


  • Angela 5 years ago

    Here's hoping Jessica's next breakup is cheaper than $19,000.

  • ms sassy 5 years ago

    tony is a douche bag.... jessica don't worry the right man will come along who loves and appreciate you.... stay strong gal..

  • Daisy 5 years ago

    Tony's a childish scum bag with no heart. What kid of man bars someone from their house to get their items back. Wasn't it enough when you broke her heart, did you really have to break her piggy bank? And by the way Jessica was never the fat one it was always Tony (talk about going on a diet >.>)