Each year, ShopInPrivate.com releases a list of gifts to avoid. While greenies agree that unnecessary gifts should be avoided, here's some gifts that should never make their way into a holiday stocking under any circumstance. More unnecessary stuff assaults the Earth every day. This stuff also assaults the recipient. Even the store that sells these says they don't make good gifts. ShopInPrivate sells items that are embarrassing to buy. Unfortunately, people can get confused and try to give these items as gifts. Don't do it. Here's their list:
10. Pheromone Deodorant – When you give someone a gift, you say something about what you think of them. This gift says "I think you are sweaty, smelly, and you can't find a mate on your own."
9. A Nose Hair Trimmer – Every December we sell hundreds of nose hair trimmers. This year nose hair trimmer sales are up 800% from November to December. Why people? Why?
8. The Snore Stopper – Says "When I said I do, I didn't sign up for this crap."
7. A Hip Slimming Cushion – This is an uncomfortable cushion that you sit upon with the (false?) hope that it will make your hips slimmer. Nope.
6. Anything from the Women's Sexual Wellness Category – Buying sex toys for your wife or girlfriends is quite common and most likely OK, but Sexual Wellness and Sex Toys are two totally different categories. Stay way away from the former.
5. Anything We Sell For Men – Honestly, we don't sell a single item that you should give to a guy for Christmas. We have nothing positive. Any increase in sales during this season must be people torturing their relatives.
4. The EZ Zit Popper – I'm actually retching a little as I type this.
3. C-Section Scar Eraser – The woman gave you a child. She created another human being inside her abdomen! Deal with the scar, dude.
2. The Neckline Slimmer – Is sort of like a bowflex for your chin. They sell it in the same way too, with a late night commercial that preys upon the drunk and lonely.
Finally, The Worst Christmas Gift of 2011:
1. Kitty Carpet – This almost indescribable product is temporary, replacement, pubic hair, a merkin. It comes in black, blond, and hot pink. We really can't think of when you would need it, but we sold 10 of them the first week we had it.
About ShopInPrivate.com
ShopInPrivate.com is a private store. They sell anything that would be embarrassing to buy in person. Some items are best purchased for oneself. Okay--you were not going to buy this junk anyway. Since you are here consider gifts of time and remembrances that show individual love and consideration and have a small earthen footprint.
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