An unhealthy relationship can have a profound impact on a person’s ability to make decisions. Clarity is a vital ingredient when making major life decisions. When a person lacks clarity one often makes rash decisions based on fear. Fear based decisions rarely if ever turn out well.
If a mate stays too long with a critical spouse then this alone can cause her to shut down and detach from life. One reason is because the person is not yet conscious of why she lacks clarity.
Julie was madly in love when she married her husband Tom, a civil litigator. She was successful in her own career but had fallen into infatuation and put Tom on a pedestal. She felt since he had more advanced education that he must know more than she did. Tom was constantly letting her know how she could not do anything right. Julie felt like a failure in every area of her life.
Negative emotions are as contagious as meningitis. If you are currently in a relationship feeling scattered then time to reflect on when this condition presents in your life. The lack of focus can occur with verbal abuse, emotional abuse, condescending comments, physical abuse to a mate who yells and threatens during every day communication. All of these behaviors can lead to a dysfunctional toxic relationship which washes away one's self-esteem.
In Dr. David Burn’s book, “The Feeling Good Handbook,” he teaches the average person -how to practice Cognitive Therapy on oneself. He includes the worksheets to monitor your thoughts throughout the day.
The worksheets in this book will help one identify when one is presenting symptoms of scatteredness, anxiety, or depression and then examine what precipitated these conditions. Next, it goes over the most common cognitive distortions which contribute to faulty thought patterns which produce depression.
Dr. Burn’s book is extremely helpful in teaching people how to conquer anxiety and depression on their own without psychiatric medication. This Stanford psychiatrist has decades of experience studying what causes depression and how to heal it.
A toxic relationship can leave a person doubting one’s ability to function on her own. This internal doubt is enough to keep her hostage in an abusive relationship out of fear that nobody else would deem her worthy as well. Children who grow up in fear based relationships tend to repeat this pattern in their intimate relationships as well.
Julie was able to notice when her energy was drained and what conditions precipitated her lack of focus. She was also able to get a handle on what was sucking out her life force. One’s ability to sense what is going on around them is shut down with strong unprocessed emotions. Thus a woman in a toxic relationship has such high levels of internalized anger that her overall perception in assessing the situation and finding a soultion is greatly diminished. The intense emotional pain leaves her stuck in a maze of confusion.
Get clarity in your relationship!