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That's why there's BEER

Remember those catchy phrase crazes like “that’s what she said” or “and that’s when the fight started.” Now there’s a new one percolating in Atlanta called… “That’s why there’s BEER!”

In celebration of the glorious elixir that can simultaneously both salute and console – not unlike a reliable old friend - here are some laments that can be enlightened with a simple declaration. So when life’s harsh realities slap you upside the head, grab a frosty mug (bottle, funnel, can or glass), hoist it to the gods and exclaim: “That’s Why There’s Beer”.

1. Because I’m never going to be a rock star…
2. A fat man in a red suit is not going to magically bring us all free presents…
3. Because I’m not going to actually win the lottery…
4. Because Monday is only 36 hours away…
5. The hair ain’t coming back…
6. Never bought stock in those new Apple or Microsoft companies …
7. I’m not going to ever grace People Magazine’s (or anyone’s) Sexiest list…
8. Because I did not load up on gold when it was only $260/ ounce…
9. A distant rich relative (or Nigerian/foreign prince) is not going to leave me a fortune…
10. Because I’m never going to own that Ferrari, jet, mini-giraffe, yacht…
11. Because no one here gets out alive…aka Today is the first day of the rest of your life!
12. Never going to write a best-selling novel that gets turned into a smash film…
13. Never going to win (let alone complete) a 26.1 mile marathon…
14. Because I’m “above average” in an “above average” number of categories…
15. My 20’s (and 30’s) have sailed, over the horizon, never to return…
16. Because Murphy (of Murphy’s Law fame) was an optimist…
17. Because as you sit on eternal “hold” you realize, “my call really isn’t that important to them”…
18. We’re out of wine…chocolate…booze…crack…heroin…mouthwash…
19. She/ He looked so much better in the dark, low lights…
20. Because I’m never going to see a nickel from a new internet rage like “That’s Why There’s Beer”…
 

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