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That is your child

“We are gonna have a baby!” Most married couples get excited when they hear those words. A baby is a start to a new beginning. The couple has vowed to love one another and now together they are going to love a little human being. They pray that they can provide and guide their child to become a responsible adult. Parenting does not come with a manual and there will be bumps along the way. Each child has their own personality and what works for one child may not necessarily work for another. With that being said, parents need to come to an agreement about how they are going to raise their children.

My baby
Photo by Timm Schamberger/Getty Images

Discipline has been a hot topic for many years. Newer generation parents believe that a child can be redirected to behave. Older generation parents believe that a good smack on the behind can direct a child in any way they need them to. If one parent was brought up with grounding and time-outs, and the other was not, there could be an issue when it comes time to discipline their children. A plan needs to be put into place; because if a child senses that one parent is not on board with a certain type of discipline, they will use it to their advantage. Also, it could cause plenty of conflict between the parents if one feels the other is being too tough or not tough enough. In parenting, there is always a good and bad cop, but if they are not on the same page, the partnership will crumble and the kids will be running home. Never disagree with the other parent in front of the children. Children find it harder to manipulate parents if they support one another.

In families with multiple children, one child feels like another child gets preferential treatment sometimes. Honestly, by the time the parents get to the last child, they are tired. They have spent plenty of energy on the first child and they can’t fight anymore. It is a sad statement, but so true. In any instance, one child feels like they are constantly having to prove themselves while the other child never makes any mistakes. Parents claim to not have a favorite child, but their actions can say otherwise. If a parent is constantly making excuses for the shortcomings of one child and never praising another child for the good they do, it can seriously take a toll on the relationship between the siblings and the child and parents. No parent wants to think they are making a difference between their children, but it does happen. As parents, you should always try to be fair. Kids that have excuses made for their shortcomings tend to become adults who expect their parents to have excuses for their shortcomings. They never grow up. The other child is trying to gain approval and feels like they are always falling short. Parents can cause serious damage to a child’s self esteem, Have date night with each child and make it special for them. If parents do for one, they should do for the other. It is amazing how two children can be raised in the same household with the same rules and be totally different. At the end of the day, as a parent, they should be able to say, each child had the same opportunities. What a child does after they leave the home is on them.

Being a parent is not an easy task. If two people decide to embark on the journey of being parents, they need to be on one accord. Parents should never allow one parent to make all of the discipline decisions. This tactic can definitely cause resentment between children and parents. Be a united front. Parents have to be consistent and firm. They should demand respect, obedience and honesty. When children are adults, they can worry about being friends with their parents. Parents have to hold their children responsible for their actions. They also need to make sure they don’t show favoritism. Showing favoritism can determine whether their children take care of them in their old age or they spend their last days alone in a nursing home.

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