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Ten Ways to Destroy a Relationship with a Man

Men. Young or old, the rules are the same.
Men. Young or old, the rules are the same.
personal photo by Genevieve Hawkins

This article is for the ladies. It’s been said that insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different outcome. It’s amazing then, that despite knowing about these relationship killers, we get sucked into doing them time after time. Here’s a top ten list of ways to destroy your relationship.

1. Be as needy as you possibly can be. Call him constantly, and wait by the phone for him to call back. Make sure that he knows that your life would effectively be over without him in it. Nothing could be sexier than needing somebody else to provide your sense of self, right?
2. Emasculate him in every way possible. Let him know that he’s not man enough to fulfill your financial, emotional, or sexual needs. Act embarrassed by him or how much money he makes, and let him know that whatever he’s doing is not good enough for you. Surely this won’t drive him into the arms of a woman who admires and respects him, right?
3. Make your man know that he is being used as a means to an end, whether your final goal is to be married, to have a baby, or to impress your family. Focus exclusively on your goal, and treat him as nothing more than the placeholder needed to make that goal a reality. Surely you won’t feel unfulfilled after you’ve met the goal and discovered that it’s not enough, right?
4. Give your relationship absolutely zero priority. Make sure your man knows that he falls in line somewhere after your kids, your career, your friends, your ex and your spinning class on Thursday. Surely being super busy won’t lead your man to seek greener pastures elsewhere, will it?
5. Use your man as a way to work out your own self esteem issues. Remember that he is filling a void in your life, and bait him constantly to tell you how beautiful, sexy, successful and smart you are. Having this type of baggage surely won’t lead him to dump you with some clichéd line like ‘I’m not ready for a relationship.’ Or will it?
6. Become the angry, bitchy nag that every man fears. Fixate on everything that your man has said and done wrong during the course of your relationship, until those things become a white hot ball of hate. Bring these past faults into your current arguments. Start arguments just to bring up his past mistakes. Your man won’t want to spend the night elsewhere when he’s getting so much love at your place, will he?
7. Gossip to your friends about every detail of your relationship. Analyze everything he said and did, including juicy sexual and financial details. Don’t talk to him about problems, but do tell your friends. Surely he won’t be upset by learning from his mother in law that your period is five days late. Or will he?
8. When you’re angry get other people to agree with you that your man is a worthless SOB. Tell everyone who will listen how you are a victim of your man’s horrible mistreatment. If you break up or fight, make sure everyone knows what a terrible person he is. Surely you won’t lose credibility with your friends and family members doing this, right?
9. Smother your man with affection. If he ever seems distant or isn’t talking, ask him what’s wrong several times daily. Let him know how much more fun he would have if he spent every waking hour with you. Trying to convince him of how loving and devoted you are won’t seem insincere, will it? Surely your man won’t be intimidated by a gal with no priorities of her own, will he?
10. Make sure your guy knows that he’s a filler for your true soul mate elsewhere, whether the other person is dead, geographically distant, or he simply dumped you. Reminisce about what a wonderful guy so and so was—even fill in about sexual details. Make sure your guy knows that if your knight in shining armor comes to his senses, you’ll be out the door in no time. Surely this won’t….wait. This one can work for a little while.

This isn’t a complete list of course, but 10 seemed like a good number. Do you have any suggestions of other ways to drive a man away? Ever been guilty of any of these yourself?