If you haven’t noticed by now, I'm very knowledgeable, but there are some mysteries that even I cannot solve. For this article, I enlisted the help of 36 men (the remaining 4 did not respond to my email and are idiots, you know who you are) ages 25 to 31 to answer 10 questions about sex and relationships. The questions were personal and invasive and I believe that the men surveyed answered them honestly.
The questions and study results are listed below, and for your entertainment, a few of my favorite responses from a few of my favorite gentlemen-ish friends.
1. Would you rather a girl not ask what you want in bed and just go for it, with the chance you might not like what she's doing, or would you rather her ask so you know exactly what you're getting?
I asked this question because women often think that if you’ve handled one penis, you’ve handled them all, that one set of balls is all you need to know about the rest of the ball sets in the world. This is most untrue. Some men like a tug, some men like a reach around, most men don’t know what they like until you tell them.
40% of men surveyed want you to ask before you try anything out of the “ordinary” during sex and only 20% of men appreciate a combination of asking and taking charge. The last 40% of men appreciate the surprises you throw at them, go ahead you saucy girl.
“Sometimes girls just need to take control and go to town and do whatever they want, be assertive and rock out”
“Ask, communication = great sex”
2. Does period sex gross you out?
Generally speaking, women believe that if a man loves them, he should love them enough to get weird while she’s on her period. Women are HORNY on their period. If she’s not trying to kill you, she’s trying to seduce you. It’s a tough life you live.
80% of men surveyed get down with a girl on her period if they’re dating her.
“Yes, period sex grosses me out yet I do it anyway, usually when I'm drunk. “
“Depends on how horny I am/ if she is terrible at BJs and I don’t want to bate, I mind period sex much less. Assuming she doesn't have a wide set vagina and a heavy flow.”
“Ehh, depends on how much whiskey is in me. As I write this (sober), it kind of does seem gross. However, come 3 AM, god knows.”
3. Do you snoop through a girl's phone?
I ask this question because women snoop. I don’t know if it’s because we’re curious, crazy or a combination. We snoop. If you ask a woman and she says she doesn’t snoop, she’s probably lying. There are maybe 10 women in the whole world who don’t snoop (I did the math) so if you’re dating one of them, don’t mess it up. Fair warning: I don’t snoop without reason but if you give me a reason to snoop, I’ll snoop hard. Boys, boys, don’t all try to date me at once…
Our men have grown up. While most men have admitted to snooping in the past only 13% surveyed admit they will still go through a woman’s phone.
4. If you met your most recent significant other with no make up on, would you have hit on her?
I ask this question because women go to great lengths at the start of a relationship to keep up appearances. We conceal, we buff, we shave, we curl, we tweeze, we wax. Fast forward 9 months and things get a little prickly... get it? It’s not because we don’t care anymore, it’s because that effort is exhausting. And it’s not just us, Mr. WhyDon’tYouGetOnTopAgain. Mhmm...
98% of men said they would still have asked out their significant other if they had seen her sans makeup.
“I'll say yes now, though no promises”
“Yup, you can’t hide boobs and a donkey like that”
“Hands down, without a doubt, 100% yes”
5. Do you currently have a picture of your penis on your phone?
It takes a special kind of woman to appreciate a D-Pic. She has to have an active imagination and an even more active libido. Don’t send a D-pic without being asked or bated. Ever. She will not be prepared and you will not get a sexy response back. If she asks, go for it. Once the D-Pic gates are open you can hit send as many times as you like.
7% of men have never sent a D-pic. 23% of men surveyed say they have a picture of their D on their phone while 70% delete the picture once it’s been sent. If only they were that quick to delete our pictures, which brings us to…
6. Do you currently have a picture of a female's parts on your phone?
80% of men surveyed have a picture of a naked-ish or naked woman on their phone. One specific man surveyed said that the picture wasn’t sent to him, his buddy sent it to him after the woman sent it. How lovely that you are sharing, except this isn’t the sandbox and that’s a jerk move. If you have ever been granted the privilege of receiving breasts via MMS and shared those breasts with other people than you are not worthy of those breasts or any other breasts moving forward.
7. Have you ever lied to an Ex and said you deleted something you should have but really kept it?
Kill me. 90% of men have a picture saved that they said they’ve deleted. These pictures have probably been moved to their computer into a folder named, “Bills 2010” or they’ve been moved to a hard drive; where they will stay forever. Because when it comes to naked women, men are hoarders. 90%... that is absurd and terrifying. TERRIFYING.
“…for sure, those pictures go in the conquest vault”
“Yup sure did, and yup still got it in the email files somewhere...blackmail son...blackmail”
8. Do you have a sexual relationship/ sexual banter with someone other than your significant other?
40% of men surveyed said that they do have a sexual relationship/ banter with someone other than their girlfriend or wife. Most of the men offered an explanation, ie: they have a work wife they go to lunch with regularly or a female friend they feel comfortable enough discussing sex with and sometimes the conversation will turn to a gray area. Of the 36 men who participated in the study, only 3 admitted to cheating in their current relationship.
“Have I in the past when I had a girlfriend? Yes. Would I again? I hope not/will try not”
9. Is porn overrated?
75% of men surveyed think porn is overrated. While I would agree with the majority, as we’ve gotten older and more mature mentally and sexually, porn is less taboo among women. Women used to secretly watch porn and it was only discussed with your best friend. It seems that we no longer feel the need to hide the fact that porn is a turn on.
“Hell no. Best thing to cum out of the internet in my opinion. (...see what I did there?)”
“You’ve seen one bad babysitter, you’ve seen them all.”
10. Is sexting overrated?
It’s insane what people will text. Don’t get me wrong, I'm an advocate of the phenomenon but I wonder how it started. When did we all decide to put our most private feelings and desires on display? It starts with texting, then the pictures start rolling in and before you know it, it’s 4 AM and you’re FaceTiming half naked with an ex-boyfriend strolling down memory lane while secretly proving to yourself that he’s a scumbag and thinking that you still own him. Meanwhile he’s probably thinking he still owns you and that you’re an idiot... and about your boobs. Probably just your boobs, though.
80% of men are into sexting. The rest feel it to be a waste of time or a fleeting phase.
“It’s like making out, if it does not lead to actual sex its just going to lead to me and my own hand”
“I think overrated is a bad word for it, more so "short-lived"... great in the beginning, with a new hookup, but loses its luster over time.”
“Nope, unless you're not that into the person, in which case it's an annoyance.”
“Sexting is boring.”
“Not at all... I think it’s underrated. The imagination is so powerful that the thoughts and images in ones mind can almost be overwhelming. I think it’s dying though...Nobody likes to talk dirty anymore.”
As you can see, there is no consensus. Men are just as all over the place as they claim women to be. Generally, the point here is simple, shake what your mama gave ya but don’t take a picture and send it out because obviously, he’s saving it. You will tick him off one day and when that day comes; his best friend will see your breasts. And no one wins that game. Well, someone wins, and it surely isn’t you.
Thank you to all the men who participated in the survey! Loveyoumeanit.