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Ten most gratuitously bad ass, manly man games from 2010 (Part 2)

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Splatterhouse

“Splatterhouse” isn’t really a good game (it’s more of a generic mash up of action game cliches) but its ridiculous violence and unabashed usage of over-the-top gore earns it a spot on this list. You play as Rick, a dead man turned steroid-pumped wrecking machine, who needs to rescue his girlfriend from the hands of an evil scientist and his legion of demon followers. Asses need to be kicked in copious numbers, and that’s exactly what you end up doing in the most explicitly graphic fashion possible. Use an enemy’s limb to beat them to death, use your own amputated limb to do the same thing, impale him on spikes, or utilize a host of incredibly bizarre environmental triggers to completely cover levels in a slippery coat of blood and corpses.

Oh, and on top of that, soft core pornography is sprinkled throughout the game. No real reason is given for this, but hey, nothing compliments slaughtering demons like random nudity, right?

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Split Second

At first I thought “Gran Turismo 5” would be a good addition to this list because it had a ton of awesome race cars in it. But then I realized that “Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit” would be a better choice because it had nitrous oxide and insane, high-speed chases. But then it occurred to me that “Split Second” has virtually everything that “Gran Turismo 5” and “Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit” have and more, like airplanes falling out of the sky, explosions, natural disasters and all sorts of other hazards designed to reduce racers into fiery bits of scrap metal.

It might lack any semblance of realism, but “Split Second” is so damn cool that it doesn’t really need any. You drive fast cars, dodge explosive barrels and helicopters shooting missiles at you, and can try and eliminate the competition by causing nearby buildings to spontaneously explode and collapse on them. It’s the video game incarnation of a Calvin and Hobbes day dream comic strip (only, sadly, minus the T-Rexes in fighter jets) and it’s so totally awesome that you can overlook the rather glaring fact that everything about “Split Second” sounds like it was devised by a hyperactive six-year-old child with ADHD, or Michael Bay.

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