When you and your spouse decide to get divorced, there are many people that are going to need to be told person to person, rather than just hearing about it through the rumor mill. Your family members are some of the most important people in your life and as such, they deserve the respect and courtesy of being told by you about your upcoming divorce.
Tip #1-Don’t Go Into Detail
People are usually curious about why you and your spouse are headed for divorce court, unless they have already been privy to the details, but there is really no reason for you to go into detail about your marital situation. Doing so generally leads to people taking sides and getting involved in your divorce, making everything more difficult. Your marriage and your divorce are your business, not everyone else’s. While your family may mean well, their concern and defense of you can become another stressor to a situation that is already stressful enough.
Tip #2-Don’t Get Over-Emotional
Divorce is an emotional situation. There is no getting around that fact. You are seeing the end of something that you once thought would last forever and that hurts. However, when you tell your family, you need to try and be strong emotionally, maintaining your dignity and allowing them to see that you are going to make it through this time.
Tip #3-Keep the Kids Away, if Applicable
If you and your soon-to-be ex have had children, you need to tell your family about the divorce when they are not present. There may be some words spoken that are not appropriate for your children to hear. Your family may feel some anger towards your spouse and verbalize it when they initially hear about the divorce. There is absolutely no need for the kids to be involved in any adult discussions regarding your divorce. They should be told and talked with separately.
Tip #4-Share Your Plan
Your family may be worried about how you are going to get by after the divorce. This is especially true if your spouse was the primary earner in the household. Come up with some sort of tentative plan on becoming self-sufficient before you tell your family so that you can share this with them. This will help to put their minds at ease regarding your ability to make it on your own.
Tip #5-Don’t Badmouth Your Spouse
Speaking poorly of your spouse to your family is never a good idea. For one thing, it shows a lack of maturity and character on your part. For another, whether you think so now or not, there is a chance that your divorce will not happen or that you will get back together eventually. If that did happen, you wouldn’t really want your family to think poorly of your spouse.
Divorce can get very ugly, but it doesn’t have to in every case. One of the things that will make a big difference in how yours is handled is the way that you tell people about the situation. Following the above five suggestions will help both you and your family to get through your divorce with as little stress as possible.