It’s hard enough to get them to tell you about their day. But bringing up the subject of sex and dating actually makes a lot of parents squeamish. In this day and age, hopefully you haven’t let so much time go by to start conversations with them. Personally, I began talks in 5th grade. Shocking I know, but truly necessary. I remember my son coming to me telling me about some little girl getting caught behind the bleachers and the police, child protective services and parents were called. Something clicked and I immediately sat the boys down and talked to them. (Later that week I got a letter in the mail about the incident and the precautionary measures that were going to be taken regarding it) I didn’t go too graphic until later in age when they felt comfortable in asking me what certain things were. Often they would hear something from their friends that I had to explain, so I went to the internet to pull up a picture or to get the official definition of something. Did I want to have the ongoing conversation most times no…..but I am glad I did in the end. I am a proud mom of 3 sons who are focused on school; yes they may date here and there. However, they have already made it known they are not ready for sex and deep relationships for what it entails. They are just happy to enjoy their teen hood.
What I would personally recommend is asking first what they know about it. Ask if there is anything that is confusing to them. When they get information from their friends (most times inaccurate information) is highly dangerous, not only to themselves but you suffering the consequences. I would highly recommend that you encourage them to ask you questions from time to time and ALWAYS keep the lines of communication open. Don’t rush it either, if they are not ready they are just not ready but don’t be afraid to ask them out right if they are still a virgin. You know your child and when they are lying or not….catching them off guard is the best way to tell.
At this crucial time, it is a balancing act between parent and friend. Try to stay more on the parenting side but you don’t want them afraid to come to you when they truly need information. Remember when you were their age? All the hormones, mood swings, attitudes….yeah, I know you do. So don’t be too hard on them because YOU are uncomfortable. If you need advice, leave a comment. That is what I am here for.