The high school in Beacon Hills is no stranger to chaos, mayhem and death, so what better way to step up the game than to bring in the CDC? Yes, that's what happens in the Monday, Aug. 4 episode of "Teen Wolf," 407, Weaponized."
There's a whole lot that's pretty convenient in this "Teen Wolf" episode, though by the end of it, a secret is out, despite some characters' attempts to keep that from happening. Meanwhile, Derek gets to reminisce about the good ol' days when Satomi would visit his mother and bring horrible tea that just so happens being the answer they need. It's really just an excuse for a bottle episode where nothing happens until the very last moment and the kids have an excuse not to do anything remotely related to schoolwork in the school.
As "Weaponized" begins, the newest assassin has a werewolf in a quarantine bubble and mountain ash and is sitting drinking tea while listening to the Benefactor's tape. It's the same tape that Scott and Stiles are listening to because they have Garrett's bag of money, which would solve pretty much all their problems, but that all gets shoved under Scott's bed with all that cash when Malia shows up to tell them that Satomi's pack is dead. Satomi, however, is not, as Deaton learns when she stops by his clinic for a bit of fighting, light banter, rundown of the symptoms of this virus and help with the only other survivor of her pack.
Since they never stay in school, Beacon Hills High has decided to try Saturday classes. No, they're just there for the PSATs (because Scott has dreams of paying for college and not attending classes there), and since Lydia has already taken them, she's free to spend more time in the soundproof room of her lake house trying to hone her banshee abilities. Coach is supposed to be a proctor with Lydia's mother, but he's busy being deathly sick in his office, though she thinks he's fallen off the wagon after being 15 years sober (surprise backstory for Coach!) until one of the students collapses during the exam and has lesions on her wrist. Then Lydia's mother discovers that Coach's back is covered in them, and it's time to call in the CDC.
The CDC takes over, and while Stiles tries to get to his cell phone to call his father, the Tea-Drinking assassin tells him not to bother because they would've shut off access to outside communication. Meanwhile, Derek had brought Braeden to the hospital, and while she should be resting, Melissa wakes her up because she needs to know everything since her son's at the school. Braeden explains that the pack was infected with a virus designed to kill werewolves, and that's around the time that Scott begins exhibiting symptoms.
That’s when it becomes very convenient that Kira's father is one of the adults in the school on Saturday (maybe just sitting in his room, maybe proctoring the exam as well since Lydia's mother said she'd get him to help her at the first break with Coach down for the count). After Kira accidentally singes the Hazmat suit of one of the CDC when she tries to take her blood, she and Malia run off to join Scott, Stiles and Kira's father in the locker room to figure out where to quarantine the supernatural (and Stiles) from the quarantine. Fortunately, there's the Hale vault under the school and a set of blueprints lying around for them to figure out a way in, and of course until now, no one has noticed the giant marking on the wall signifying the entrance in the basement.
The problem? They need Hale claws to get in, but Malia's sick/gullible/socially inept enough to accept that they've just been keeping that she's only worth $4 million from her and that any claws will work and Scott's too sick to grow his. The vault is also the perfect location to chat about their money problems: Stiles' bills from Eichen House and the MRI and Scott's mother figuring out how long they have until they lose the house. Outside, Lydia arrives on scene and Sheriff Stilinski easily gets her past the police barricade (because that happens on teen shows). At least four students going missing during a quarantine doesn't go unnoticed, as Scott does hear that they're looking for them, but by that logic, Malia should be able to hear Scott and Stiles' conversation about Peter being her father and possibly being the Benefactor or just lucky he's not on the list.
By the time Deaton and Satomi get the infected werewolf to Melissa, it's too late and he dies in the elevator, but the autopsy does help Deaton figure out what they're dealing with – and that the others will die without an antidote. Derek has to take a break from "protecting [his] investment," as he calls watching over Braeden resting in the hospital bed, to join the adults with the dead body and reminisce about his mother and Satomi visiting with tea. That tea just happens to be why Satomi wasn't infected; it's a powerful remedy for sickness. (It's also the tea that the assassin's drinking at the beginning of the episode.) Oh, and guess where there just happens to be some? That's right, in the Hale vault. (Why is the Hale vault just now a thing? It seems like there could have probably been some useful things in there the first three seasons.)
Stiles leaves the others in the vault – and his jacket with Malia – to go try to figure out the identity of the latest assassin, and of course he puts it all together. After noting that Coach is the only adult to get sick, he goes tearing through his office, finally figuring it out when he notices a change in the ink for an Approved stamp on permission slips and fingerprints on the coffee cup: the ink used to fingerprint the students before the PSAT. That's when Tea-Drinking, Ink-Infecting assassin shows up to point a gun at Stiles and demand the location of his friends for his visual confirmation for the Benefactor, just as all the humans start getting better and the supernatural begin losing heir sight, which conveniently happens just as Malia finds the dead pool list in Stiles' jacket.
"Think you can scare me?" Stiles asks the assassin, who then begins the whole, "No, I think I can kill you," with the countdown. There is a gunshot to the head, but it's to the assassin's head from Scott's father's gun because Melissa called him to tell him to pass on a message he couldn’t possibly understand since he's still blind to the supernatural happenings of Beacon Hills about the cure. It's a good thing Stiles is there to yell to Scott through the vault wall about the cure because Derek and Satomi get held up at the hospital by another assassin, one Satomi takes out with a few Matrix moves and a stab to the neck. "I may have learned to control my anger," she explains. "I still know when to use it."
Kira remembers seeing the jar they need on the shelf, and Scott uses his red alpha eyes to see and the tea helpfully glows for him. He gets it down from the shelf, the glass shatters, and they breathe it in, but it's not a happy reunion for Stiles and Malia because by the time he gets to her, she has read the list and seen her name as Malia Hale.
"Teen Wolf" season 4 airs Mondays at 10 p.m. on MTV. What did you think of episode 7 "Weaponized"?