This is not a subject many are comfortable talking about, however it is imperative that we learn about protecting ourselves and our teens. The recent news out of Richmond, CA about the gang rape of a 15 year-old girl, is outrageous. As parents, we need to be educated so we can better protect our own children and teach them about prevention.
This past August, I wrote an article about Teens that Inspire which included Joni Nicole Poole. 18-year old Joni Poole is not only a survivor of sexual abuse, she is a voice! She has created an organization, S.A.A.R.A. (Sexual Abuse Assault and Rape Awareness) to share her story, offer resources and let other victims know they are not alone.
According to S.A.A.R.A. the statistics for sexual abuse are frightening.
Due to the secretive nature of sexual crimes and the inability for members of society to talk about these crimes; many believe that sexual crimes are a rare occurrence. The unfortunate reality is that 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys are victims or will become victims of a sexual crime before the age of 18. Nine years old is the median age of child sexual assault victims. Society holds beliefs that sexual crimes are committed by strangers, when in fact, 34% of sexual crimes involve a family member or caregiver. Members of society do not realize how often these crimes occur, how often they are over looked, and the toll these crimes have taken on the lives of victims.
Joni also offers steps to prevent sexual abuse, as well as sharing stories from other survivors.
One of the most interesting pages on the S.A.A.R.A website is the facts vs myths. Here is a few from that page, but I encourage everyone to visit the website to read them all.
Myth
-Rape is a crime of sex/passion.
Fact
-Rape is experienced by the victims as an act of violence.
-It is a life-threatening experience.
-While sexual attraction may be influential, power, control and anger are the primary motives.
-Most rapists have access to a sexual partner.
-Gratification comes from gaining power and control and discharging anger.
-This gratification is only temporary, so the rapist seeks another victim.
Myth
-Women incite men to rape them.
Fact
-Rape is the responsibility of the rapist alone.
Myth
-There is a "right way" to respond to a rape situation.
Fact
-Since rape is life-threatening and each rapist has his own pattern, the best thing a victim can do is follow her instincts and observe any cues from the rapist.
-If the victim escapes alive she has done the right thing.
Visit www.saaraonline.org for more myths and facts.
Learn more about sexual abuse, dating violence and more: Stop It Now, Just Tell, Love Our Children USA, MADE Coalition (Love is Not Abuse)
S.A.A.R.A offers help hotlines as well as steps towards healing. Join Joni Poole on Facebook.
Click here to learn more about this author.
Comments
This is clearly a topic that needs to be discussed more often with our kids. It is also clear that the other discussion we need to be having is about respect for other human beings. The fact that the first observers went and got others to come and watch and then still others came after "hearing about it" is beyond disturbing! The fact that ANYone much less more than one could stand there and watch for over an hour is beyond comprehension! I would be willing to bet that if asked, not a single one of those parents would have ever dreamed that their child would do such a thing. As parents we have to wake up, and be involved in our kids lives. It's easy to walk away frustrated when they don't seem to listen or want us there, but this is what absence gets us.
Of course, that is probably a whole other post in itself!
My son is ten and we often talk about social awareness and right/wrong. Not only do I teach him to treat others (and girls) with respect, I also tell him that if he SEES as act of harm against someone else, he has a responsibility to help. To call the police, yell, scream, help the person if possible, etc. I really believe that kids are desensitized to these things now because of TV, movies and video games. They no longer see violence as something unacceptable. It's the 'norm' in their worlds now and they seem to almost 'float' above it as though it isn't really REAL. We need to continue telling them it *is* real and that it harms the lives, hearts and futures of those it touches. On a side note, we don't allow violent games or movies in our home.
The only way to deter rape is to institute the death penalty for this sort of crime.
I agree wiithh ken...
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