Privacy is a high priority for teens, and their bedroom is one of the places that they expect to have privacy. They like the freedom of closing their bedroom door and relaxing, doing what they want to do without anyone telling them what to do. But what really goes on behind closed doors?
Innocent
Sometimes, what goes on totally innocent. Girls and guys alike may preen in front of the mirror, checking out their hair and skin, trying on outfits that they hope make them look good. They may also engage in phone conversations that consist of gossip, flirtations, or simply getting emotional support about teen "phase of life" issues.
Not so innocent
However, sometimes what goes on behind closed doors may not be so innocent. What with sexting (sending inappropriate pictures of oneself over the internet or phone) and cyber-bullying (posting hurtful information or photos of another teen), it is helpful for parents to have and idea of what is going on in their child's room when no one is watching.
Open door policy
For this reason, I like the concept of not putting a lock on a teen's bedroom door. This does not mean that a parent can enter without knocking first. But it does serve as a reminder to teens that parents have access to their room. In the case of younger siblings, who do not understand the concept of privacy, a lock may be indicated. (with the understanding that if a parent knocks, the door must be opened immediately)
Using bedrooms for entertaining
Another interesting choice I see parents make is allowing their teens to entertain their boyfriends and girlfriends in their bedrooms. If teens are simply looking to go on the computer, perhaps a community computer can be made available in a community space. If the intention is to have some privacy for their conversation, perhaps a space can be designated for them to chat without interruption. If, however, space is limited, then you may want to consider the possibility of requiring that the door be left open ...
*Note: If your teen is struggling, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it. Help is just a phone call away! Click on the following link for more information. - Sandra Dupont--LA Teen Therapist
Comments
You provide sound advice for parents of teens. When my daughters were in their teen years their bedroom door was always closed. I'd knock on it three times, and then enter. Since I'm deaf, they knew I wouldn't hear their reply.
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