With the constant pressure from magazines and the media to be thin, it is incredibly refreshing to talk to women in Hollywood who haven't been tainted by the industry's unnatural ideas of body size and image. Amanda Schull is one of those admirable women who tells us that it is your dedication to your passion that is going to lead you to ultimate happiness and success, not the size of your jeans. She may be best known for her starring role of Jody Sawyer in the 2000 hit movie Center Stage and her dual-roles on the CW's One Tree Hill, but as a professional ballet dancer and former member of The San Francisco School of Ballet, Schull truly understands what that pressure to be extremely thin in a competitive environment can do to you and how those negative thoughts about yourself can ultimately destroy you. Schull joined to Team True Beauty to tell girls that true beauty is about being the natural you. Schull discusses how beauty is about being healthy and knowing that the result of what you strive for in your life whether it's the part in a ballet or just being happy, is heavily contingent on taking care of your body, not torturing it. Team True Beauty is so grateful that the incredibly talented Amanda Schull graciously took time to contribute to the campaign's message and spread her inspiring advice to young women everywhere.
Starting out as a young adult in Hollywood did you ever feel the pressure to have the 'perfect image' by Hollywood standards? Daphne Zuniga said in her letter for Team True Beauty-”If you can love yourself in Hollywood, you can love yourself anywhere.”
Amanda-Hollywood is something else. It's such an exaggerated idea. The concept of what beautiful really is, is ludacris. But you know I also came from the world of ballet so that's a different type of beauty. That's more aesthetic. Here, Daphne's absolutely right. If you can love yourself in Hollywood, you can love yourself anywhere. (Laughs) There's always going to be somebody that you consider maybe more beautiful. But nine times out of ten here in LA, that beauty isn't home grown. It's usually manufactured. It sort of encourages me to work more within myself because I think that's not what appeals to me. Plastic and tons of makeup. I have a different mentality than the Hollywood concept.
And plus it's more about your talent that's going to get you further in your career, I would assume. It's not just about your looks.
Amanda- Absolutely. If you really go through the list of your favorite actors and actresses, most of them are pretty natural. You can't make facial expressions if you're all plastic. It's distracting to watch somebody who doesn't have real features.
As a professional ballet dancer, how was the pressure to maintain a certain weight. I can only imagine that was tough. Can you talk about that experience?
Amanda- Yes, there's definitely pressure as a dancer. I know that for me it was a little bit challenging because I'm not naturally a twig. I'm not naturally fat, but I'm not naturally skin and bones either. But it was really hard for me my first year in the company in particular because as an apprentice you learn a lot of roles but you don't always get the opportunity to dance them. So while I was learning things, I wasn't always having the chance to exercise my body and run the roles. I wasn't getting all of the exercise but I was definitely eating like I was getting all of the exercise! (Laughs) It just took a little but of a mind switch. It's hard with ballet because your aesthetic really is important. It's different from acting and from film. Nobody wants to watch somebody who is sickly thin. And it's interesting because I have danced with people who are ill, have eating disorders, and a light goes off within them. I know I saw this a lot of times, not just with San Fransisco, but with the companies all over the world, you recognize when somebody isn't happy with themselves. And you can't be happy on stage if you're not happy in your skin, in your own body. It's not fun to watch a ballerina who isn't enjoying herself. It's excruciating actually. And it takes all of the joy and the passion out of dance for the audience and for the dancer.
What would you say to girls who are dancing, and struggling with this issue? I'm sure there are so many that are dancers and battling the fight with their bodies.
Amanda- Well I think it would be fair to say that most female dancers have dealt with, whether it's an extreme, or minor complex in eating disorders. So the first thing I would say to girls who are feeling that way is you're not alone. You're far from alone. You're the majority. There's absolutely nothing wrong with what you're feeling. I think probably the healthiest thing is to find someone you can talk to about it. What sometimes is scary is I know it can get competitive when you're with people. I know first hand that a jealousy factor can kick in when there are other people who are thinner than you are. There's something twisted about an eating disorder that whether it looks unhealthy or not, when you're sort of consumed by that mentality, it can become very easy to become jealous. And I think it's important to find somebody that you can talk to who won't encourage that type of jealousy and that type of behavior. And then also I know that when I was a healthy dancer, which I was, I love food too much to go down that path (Laughs). I know if you're actually dancing and you're exercising and you're eating healthfully, you're going to feel really good. It's really hard to dance well and not eat enough. I know that even when I wasn't eating enough and when I wasn't exercising, I felt sick and it was hard for me to dance. It's a lot easier to be a more passionate and a more energetic dancer if you're eating well. If you eat well to feel good about yourself.
I spoke with former Miss USA Kristen Dalton for this a few weeks ago, and she was talking about how you can't really succeed in your day, with what you want to achieve if you don't feed yourself and provide your body with the energy it needs.
Amanda- That's absolutely true. How can you possibly dance? How can you possibly get through an entire ballet if you don't have the fuel to power yourself through it? You're not going to be able to. I saw so many dancers who just couldn't will themselves to get through ballets. And then they wouldn't get the part. They wouldn't be able to get those great roles that they probably could have been capable of if they were just giving themselves the proper fuel.
And then they would probably blame themselves. It would probably make it worse.
Amanda- Yes. Often. It's just a mentality switch I think. And I think it's really important to realize that it doesn't mean you eat very little, it means you can eat almost anything you want if it's healthy. You can eat apples, and whole grains, and eggs, and protein. And most importantly for dancers is protein, to be able to get your muscles rejuvenated. To be able to get off the ground when you jump. It's painful to watch a dancer who doesn't have the strength to get themselves off the ground, because you're not going to be able to get a job in a company. It's so competitive to begin with, you can't give yourself an extra tick against you by not eating. And companies also don't want to deal with dancers who have eating disorders. It's too much of a liability.
I remember Center Stage had dealt with the ballerina having an eating disorder storyline. I guess they were trying to show the world does exist.
Amanda- Yeah, with Susan May Pratt. It absolutely does exist. I had a lot of friends who dealt with it. It's just important for girls to realize that it's not going to further your career at all. Having an eating disorder is going to limit you when it comes to dance. It sets up boundaries.
Do you think the pressure to be an extremely small unhealthy size is more prominent now than it was when you started in the industry?
Amanda- I think that things get more and more extreme everyday. The idea of beauty becomes more and more exaggerated with fashion magazines. But a lot of that is so misleading because it's often photo-shopped. Or not realistic at all. So maybe it is worse but that's just because technology is making it appear that that's more the norm, when it's absolutely not. I've been on set and I've met actors for the first time that I always thought looked a certain way and you meet them in person and you think, that's not at all how they looked. You don't need to be a twig to look healthy, and beautiful, and energetic.
If anything I think you look better when you're not stick thin and actually look healthy.
Amanda-There's nothing appealing about somebody who has no light behind their eyes. And that's what it takes away from you. I know first hand seeing people who are mal-nourished, there's no spark. And for the entertainment industry, you need to have the spark. You need to have the bubble. You need to have the extra personality. And you won't have that if you're killing yourself from the inside.
Did you deal with the issue before you entered the public eye, as just a teenager in school?
Amanda- In high school, I danced six days a week so I was always around people who were athletically fit and people who had body image issues. But I think high school is such an uncomfortable time for so many girls to begin with, that it's very easy to fall into the trap of eating disorders. And also a lot of it is industry driven. Seeing people on magazines or on television that promote an unrealistic concept of what beauty is and what body image is. It's refreshing almost to see people and you think, 'wow they really did some handy work for that magazine. That's not at all what you look like.' And sometimes they're so much more beautiful in person. And sometimes you think 'wow they've done so much to themselves in that struggle, in that strive to be what they think is right, and you probably would have looked a lot healthier and more appealing had you just allowed yourself to be naturally who you are.'
Last week I spoke with actress Allison Munn about this and she said she thinks that shows need to have more realistic body types on them, especially ones that are geared towards young women, like 90210. That it would make a difference in the number of girls who strive to be look like their favorite actresses on television.
Amanda- Well I also think that shows like 90210 and Gossip Girl are often focused on a lot of other things besides story lines. They've become sort of fashion icons and so that's the focus. And other shows, like One Tree Hill for example; none of the girls on One Tree Hill are ill. They are all gorgeous girls. And they're all sensational actresses, too. That's a very different thing to look at it; to look at somebody who is healthy and comfortable. When your clothes fit a nice, womanly body, it's much more appealing.
I remember I was watching E!, don't remember which show it was but they were on the street doing like a who wore it better kind of thing and they were holding up two pictures of two girls in the same tight, tight dress. One girl was rail thin, and the other one was curvy. They held up the picture to probably about four or five different groups of people and asked who wore it better, every singe group of people chose the curvier person. Every single group. And that's men and women included. And one person even said she just looks so much healthier. She's just so much more enjoyable to look at. And that was a man saying that.
Also the hours that you work when you're doing a show, you can't get by a 15 hour day if you're eating peanuts. It's just not possible. And not eating makes you incredibly temperamental. It affects your judgments and it affects your capabilities as a dancer, as an actress. You're not able to get the most out of your art. It's not fun at all to be around people who are so consumed with how you look. I mean you're constantly judging yourself. If anybody has ever felt in a situation where all eyes are on you and they're not friendly eyes, to be in that situation on a daily basis will just weigh away on your soul.
How do you make sure not to fall into this trap since you are in Hollywood?
Amanda- I don't spend a lot of time at those parties where I'm surrounded by that. I live in Hollywood, but I'm a little bit Hollywood excluded. I love to exercise. I told you that I love food. I could never stop my love affair with food. But I love to exercise probably just as much as I love food. It doesn't mean that I love to get on a treadmill because I definitely don't love that. (Laughs) But I love to get out and walk my dog in the afternoons. I love to still take ballet class. And I love the endorphins that are released when I break a sweat and when I really work hard. And so I don't feel the guilt if I have a piece of cake. Sweets are really my pitfall. (Laughs) I don't feel the guilt because I know I did everything for my body that day. And that's important. It doesn't mean overexercising. It means the medium with giving your body what it needs. Not depriving your body of what it needs.
How do you think they can rise above the criticism? What would you like to say to the girls currently dealing with body image insecurities or eating disorders?
Amanda- It gets better. It gets so much easier to be in your skin no matter what size that skin is. If you do something that you're good at and that makes you happy, that's the best outlet that I could ever suggest to anybody. That everybody find something that they're good at. And even if it's riding a bike, or if it's writing poetry, or composing music. If there's something that you're good at, and you focus on that, that's a wonderful distraction and that's a wonderful thing to put your energy towards. It will make you much happier in the long run.
People are so much more than the flesh on their exterior. I know that mindset is so hard to snap out of. And I've had so many friends who have dealt with this on a very, very extreme level. It's a very difficult thing. You can only get yourself out of it when you're ready to get out of it. It's not something that somebody else can make you do. But if there's something that I said or something that anybody has said that encourages somebody to stop starving themselves or to change their mindset, it gets so much better. You'll be such a healthier person. I know friends who have been starving themselves and to see them how they've become after they've gotten out of that trap, they are so much happier. They appreciate life. And they appreciate the details. I have a friend who would throw up after every single thing that she ate. She would have to worry about where the bathroom is and if she had any gum. And so many other things that consumed her. She was never completely content and if you take all those other things away and if you are able to just enjoy who you are, and if you can learn to love who you are, then you'll just be a much happier person.
Absolutely. You're not having something negative shadow your life. It's like a dark cloud over you.
Amanda- It is, it's a dark cloud that will follow you everywhere you go. That will rain on the greatest days. It's so hard because I know so many young people affected by this. It makes me feel sad that they could feel badly about who they are. And I would never want anybody else to feel badly about who they are. They're here for a reason. I'm not uber-religious but god doesn't make mistakes. Nobody is a mistake. And the way you're made isn't a mistake. Not everybody is meant to be stick thin. It affects you on not only becoming grumpy and not being able to dance, but it affects your heart. When you're bulimic it affects so many other things. It affects your teeth and your esophageal lining, your stomach, and especially your heart. There have been a few cases where dancers who haven't fed themselves enough or have been bulimic, have died of heart failure. Because their bodies can't keep up with what they're doing. It's not possible to be an athlete or a dancer or be an active person, and stave yourself. Sooner or later your body will lose. There's nothing more awkward than watching a dancer jump off the ground and not having the muscle strength to do it. You can't dance if you're not feeding yourself. It's doesn't work out. It's a mental disorder as well. It's not just a physical one, it's a mental one. The mindset has to be made from top to bottom.
Thank you so much Amanda, you have provided incredible words of wisdom here. I know your message is going to help so many girls.
Amanda-I hope so. If anybody has questions or wants some personal advice, I know you've had so many wonderful actresses, but I can speak to dancers specifically. If there's anything they want to follow up with, I would love to. This is an important topic.
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