When Harry Styles was seen ordering human brains at Dan Tana’s last night in West Hollywood, rumors began to run rampant that Taylor Swift is actually a zombie.
Many of Swift’s ex-lovers began to act very strangely shortly after separating from the famed country singer. John Mayer started moaning during interviews; Jake Gyllenhaal suddenly began seeking out smart girls, and Taylor Lautner was seen wandering Beverly Hills in a daze. Swift was able to infect each of her victims with seemingly innocent nibbles on the ear.
Zombie experts also speculate Swift’s recent participation on “The Hunger Games" soundtrack was, in fact, a way of sending out code to the wider zombie nation. Zombies across the U.S. have interpreted the film’s title as ‘hungry nation,’ and have begun seeking out brains to consume upon the film's release.
Observers should have been tipped off right away about Swift’s true origins, as her caterwauling, which is supposed to pass for singing, is obviously hellacious weeping and wailing from hell.