There is a little voice inside of all of us, sometimes that voice tells you that you are amazing and you can do anything. Most of the time the voice tells you negative things. It seems like we all listen to the voice that speaks negatively to us more often than we do to the good voice. Why is that?
I think it’s easier to listen to the negative things about ourselves because deep down we don’t feel good about ourselves. It’s easier to accept the bad because it means that we don’t have to try as hard or try at all. We all fall victim to this voice at some point in our lives, including me.
I’ve had an issue for the last few months, I haven’t been able to write anything. Every time I sit down at my laptop I just stare at the blank screen. The voice inside me says, you can’t write, people don’t want to hear anything you have to say, you suck. So what do I do, I listen to the voice and start with the excuses. I tell myself and anyone who listens that I can’t write because my internet is spotty. Or I can’t write because I need to be in a quiet place somewhere in the woods so I can concentrate. I’ve spent more time looking for a place to travel to so I can write than I have actually writing something.
I’ve made every excuse for not doing something simply because I’ve allowed my fear of, not failing, but succeeding cloud my judgment. I KNOW I am a writer, I know people like what I do, but sometimes, I’m afraid of what that means. It means people EXPECT me to do something, people expect me to have the answers for them, people expect me to say something that makes them “get it”, they expect me to entertain them. Tall order but an order I requested.
I have to remember the expectations others have for me is based solely on the fact that I have proven to them that I’m worthy, I can do it, I’m good at what I do. People don’t expect greatness from you if you haven’t shown them anything great. I have to remember what my purpose is. I have to remember that I am worthy.
There is a song out by Eminem featuring Rihanna called The Monster, the hook says, “I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed, get along with the voices inside of my head.” Sometimes we have to make friends with the voice that tells us we aren’t enough, accept the monsters that try to stifle our creativity. When you do those things, you start the process of healing, you realize those things can’t stop you unless you let them. Once you minimalize those obstacles you realize that you hold the key to your life. To paraphrase William Ernest Henley, you are the master of your fate, you are the captain of your soul.
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**Quote from Invictus, a poem written by English poet William Ernest Henley