April 29, 2014 – Have you noticed that you rarely hear the trepidation of parents at the water cooler on discussing the birds and the bees with their “tween-aged” children anymore? There used to be the parental fear of introductory discomfort and awkwardness. The terror of starting the conversation has been upped for a different reason. It has caused the recent silence. The scary truth is parents of today do not want to be shocked, paralyzed and hospitalized by what their over-exposed children already know at elementary school ages. Shame stifles ministry, stifles families and stifles relationships. It makes misplaced silence all the more dangerous. The first learning style is observation and now – unfortunately – the first sex education is internet porn, video games, music videos and even cartoons.
“Television robs them of the space and time space to grow because of the exposure”, said Carlesa Burrell a Mount Vernon social studies teacher at Longfellow Middle School in Mount Vernon.
There is love in encouragement and in warning. Dads needs to beef up the family security by creating the expectation of sex in context through consistent repeated conversation. Dave Finn co-founder at David Greer Media, who has a track record of successfully counselling marriages with his wife Lori thinks dads should corner the market on the conversation about sex with their children more emphatically and lovingly than the culture. He stated,” [The consistent repeated conversation] is necessary. Dads can give the totality of the picture when it comes to what happens when you engage in sex. Schools and society can only give facts, sex education - the scientific side. They talk about pregnancy and not the spiritual sense or side of things. Encouraging sex in the right context is not just about not getting diseases but life long bonds and stronghold are created through premarital sex. It is why it is reserved for marriage. The bond is to be with one man and one woman which is best and safest for the family”
Letting children figure it out on their own is nothing like an adult eagle pushing a young eagle out of the nest to fly. It is more like dropping an eagle egg from the cliff and expecting a good result. We must say and model what is the right things to do, the right ways to approach and the right context for sex to our children consistently in an age appropriate way - specifically dads. Here is an interesting tidbit of information. Almost every statistic where personal decisions about having sex, understanding about sex, the framework and importance of family come from what a dad communicates in word, deed and presence to his child.
Dads, we must be perpetually ever-ready to speak truth. We must consistently and persistently instruct, correct and emphatically encourage our children to do the right things, the right way for the right reasons – especially when it comes to physical oneness – sex – no matter where society is or suggests on the matter. In our next installment we will share some good ideas on framing the conversation in an age appropriate way