Written by Min. Che’ri Humphrey, M.ED. 1/16/13
Founder & President of Diamonds In The Rough (DITR)…Finding The Spirit In Me!
Note: This article is sent out in an automatic email blast to those on its original list through this site. Please email me if you like to be added or removed. T2M reaching 4k+; covering the McDonald's Gospelfest 2013 produced by A. Curtis Farrow with T.D. Jakes , Aretha Franklin, Smokie Norfeld, & more. Thank you for your readership and support, & God bless. ~Che'ri
"Break What's Breaking You"
ABUSE: THE NEED TO SPEAK OUT is the conclusion of part 1 with information on statistics, facts, poems, hotlines, websites, & advice. March's article will entail my personal testimony along with another survivor and overcomer of abuse.
Recap...
DEFINITION OF ABUSE (general)- Mistreatment by one human being to another, or inhumane treatment of animals. It's a global health problem, and epidemic that's increasing or being .
ABUSE CAN BE:
Child Abuse, sexual molestation or sodomy, rape, date rape, domestic abuse; misuse of authority whether in a work settings, church, organization, in the military service, drug or alcohol abuse, abuse of elder care, child care abuse, causing emotional and psychological trauma, bullying, Cyber-bullying, physical stalking or E-Stalking, threatening at school or college settings between teachers and students for example.
WHERE IT CAN HAPPEN:
Home, School, Daycare, Work, Armed Forces, College, Church, an Organization;
and in any type Relationship whether; with a parent, spouse, lover, dating, child on child, adult on Child, child to elderly, adult to elderly, elderly to child, parent to child (ex. Narcissistic Parents who abuse{see previous article})
TYPES OF ABUSE can be found in the 1st article written in January edition of Talk 2 Me!
TESTIMONY (Redemption)
Written by Che'ri Humphrey
Theeeere’s testimonies shut up in my bones
I moan and groan over the many days I spent in court
Mad at the devil, now I laugh ‘cause what he tried didn’t work
Conception through belief and faith in His Word
Protecting spiritual pregnancies I refuse to let abort
My soul is RELIEVED and REDEEMED by His blood and grace
NO, I don’t know karate, but I know crazy faith!
Crazy faith got me through so many times when I had fallen short
I don’t have to take revenge ‘cuz vengeance is MINE saith the Lord
I’m a SURVIVOR through His love and faith-can ya’ll relate?
The enemy has been on my case since March 28th at the BIRTH of this race
See I didn’t fight the war over seas, but I fought in the battle within my family,
Next the streets to church indecencies then uprooting the enemy inside me
So when you look at me remember this word-REDEMPTION!
‘cuz my very presence is a victory untold
Refining in the fire yet to come out as pure gold
Defeating every type of abuse on the totem pole
All in the name of salvation and speaking life into someone else’s soul
Jesus is gonna give back what the devil stole and mo’
So, stop playing games and act like you know
Like I said, “I GOT TESTIMONIES SHUT UP IN MY BONES!”
Copyrights©2007 (2/18/07; revised 2/19/07)
This piece was done on Our Lives Talk Show, the McDonald's Gospelfest, WVOF 88.5fm, People of Excellence, What’s Good Show, Make it Happen Show, Keeping it Real Show, Talk 2 Me Radio, Women Networking for Jesus Show, and other radio shows such as WDJZ & more.
ABUSE: THE FACTS & STATS!
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
When it concerns domestic violence, everyday, more than 3 woman are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands.
In the year 2000, those killed by an intimate partner relationship was 1,247 women, and 440 men.
Those recently pregnant and pregnant woman in general, are more likely to be victims of homicide by intimate partner.
The leading cause of death of pregnant women was 1. Homicide by intimate partners, 2. Cancer, 3. Respiratory conditions, 4. Car accidents, 5. Drug overdose
EFFECTS OF ABUSE ON WOMEN AND CHILDREN:
( www.violetnet.org, www.crisisconnectioninc.org )
Feelings of hopelessness,
Low self-esteem,
Self-blame and guilt,
Denying and minimizing,
Drug and alcohol abuse (ex. Prescription drugs such as sleeping pills, pain killers, tranquilizers, or other prescription drugs)
OTHER TYPES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUCH AS
SEXUAL ABUSE INCLUDE: Incest, rape by stranger, date rape, rape by partner, human trafficking/sex trade, and prostitution.
NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE; CHILD HELP (2010)
Statistics show that....
~There is a report of child abuse every 10 seconds
~Everyday, 5+ die from child abuse
~80% are under 4 years old who die
~90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way
30% of those who've been abused as children will later abuse their own child;
a child who may have suffered more than 1 type of abuse, such as: 78.3 neglect, 17.6 physical abuse, 10.3 other, 9.2 sexual, 8.1 psychological maltreatment, or 2.4 medical neglect.
~2/3 of people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused or neglected as children
~59% arrested as youth
~28% as an adult are arrested
~30% are more likely to commit violent crimes
~Every 13 seconds a child is abused
~48% of boys and 52% of girls
~45% are White, 22% are African American, 22 % are Hispanic of those who are abused
~Since 1980, child abuse has increased by 134% concerning abuse and neglect
~80% of perpetrators are the parents
~5 kids die from abuse daily (some stats from www.dreamcatchersforabusedchildren.com )
~Nationally, more than 15 million children are exposed to domestic violence and 1 million additional children experience some type of child abuse from family members.
~2 million cases of elder abuse
~not all cases are reported
~same sex partners are less likely to report abuse than heterosexuals
~1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by 18 years old
~1 in 5 are solicited on the internet
~70% are 17 years and under of those sexually assaulted
~the median age is 9 of those sexually abused
~20% are under 8
~50% are under 12 of that forcible sodomy/assault with an object
~Most child victims never report sexual assault
~30-40% of perps are family members
~60% of perps are someone the family trusts
~40% are abused by older children than themselves or are larger children
CONSEQUENCES OF ABUSE:
70-80% abuse drugs and alcohol
50% commit suicide, and 20% attempt it
Young girls often develop eating disorders, engage in prostitution
60% if teen pregnancy is stemmed from molestation
Of those predators/offenders of abusing sexually 70% abused 1 to 9 victims
40% of sex offenders report they were sexually abused as a child
GET OUT & PLEASE STAY OUT!
"PRAY & PACK" (Micheal Baisden said on a domestic violence show once)
Guidelines to follow:
WHEN ATTEMPTING TO GET OUT BE CAUTIOUS, PRAYERFUL, WISE, STASH SOME CASH IN THE EVENT YOU'RE READY TO GET OUT, DON'T IGNORE ABUSER'S RED FLAGS, INDENTIFY SAFETY AREAS, COME UP WITH CODE WORDS TO SHARE WITH THOSE YOU CAN TRUST TO HELP YOU GET OUT, BE READY WITH YOUR ESCAPE PLAN...
PRACTICE ESCAPE PLAN WITH BAGS PACKED AND POSSIBLY STASHED, USE EVERY REASON YOU CAN THINK OF TO HAVE TO BE OUT THE HOUSE (errands, etc) TO REMAIN UNSUSPICIOUS; MEMORIZE YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACTS...
DON'T SHARE INFORMATION WITH THOSE YOU CAN'T TRUST OR THAT HAS TIES OR CLOSE RELATIONS WITH YOUR ABUSER; BE CAREFUL OF HOW MUCH YOU SHARE WITH YOUR CHILDREN/WHAT SHOULD BE SAID IF ANYTHING IS TO BE SAID (depends on age & individual circumstance). BE SAFE, & ONCE OUT STAY OUT! There are safe havens to seek refuge at where your abuser can't find you or contact you.
“I Walked”
(referencing the time period God was turning things in my life 13 years ago)
I’m standing on your promises Lawd
But it feels like I’m sinking in sand
I stayed out the boat for years
As I screamed for you to hold my hand
LAWD I’M DROWING, SINKIN’ & I CAN’T GET UP!
SHOW ME YOUR MERCY FOR THIS BURDEN IS TOO MUCH!
Oh the pain I felt for the little abused girl
Being penetrated in the darkness
With no one to stop it or care for her in this world
Oh the tears I cried for the mother being hit
No one saw fit to step in and save her
She stayed through the deception, inadequacies, & hatred
Oh how I prayed & cried out for people I didn’t even know
When you dropped this vision & painted in plain on my soul
I didn’t think I could speak without stuttering, teach, or defend
In a dark room on my knees, no money, no family or friends then
I cried out why me!
Why must I do this alone!
You’ve got the wrong person
This is a mistake, so NO, I’VE DONE TOO MUCH WRONG!
These people will never listen ‘cuz they’ve already written me off!
I heard my name for the 3rd time as I tried to go back to sleep
LEAVE ME I THOUGHT ‘CUZ THIS CAN’T BE THE LORD CALLING FOR ME
I reluctantly accepted and my no became YES
But I cried out to Him for Him to pull out that mess
Living in a rooming house, broken and confused
Torn, whipped, battered when most people felt there was no use
Recently released from jail for the 3rd time in the city
The job I had closed down, penniless with no one to take pity
Eating out of cans, picking butts off the street
Blacking out from drunkenness, smoking weed, & doing uncomely things
I knew nothing about the Lord’s love, and how He eventually comfort & free me
Forgiveness is where I had to start
Hollow prayers, at first, in the dark
Bringing in praise & worship at the 3rd watch
Yes, they thought I was crazy for how I was praising,
but I learned that NO WEAPONS FOR AGAINST ME
WOULD PROSPER & TONGUE THAT ROSE AGAINST ME IN
JUDGEMENT WOULD BE CONDEMNED
Yes, my frienemies and my family forsook me because of the God dreams
But I trusted that if God Himself had taken the time to talk to me
This mission might just work and help set others free
Greater is He that is still lives in ME
And love covers of multitude of sins
So if I followed what He showed me to do then
I knew I’d always WIN
Without a clue or an inkling of direction or knowing just what to do or where to start
I picked up that long tree branch as a cane and I began to walk
I walked with the misdemeanors, the alcohol, and pain
I walked with a smoking habit, weed, unhealthy people, places & thangs’
I walked after losing everything thing I owned from my cars to my home
I walked with hurtful, self-righteous church folks who seemed to look down on me
I walked with traumatic memories of physical, mental, and sexual abuse
I walked away from liars, backstabbers, thieves, and fakes
Standing beside me to see what they could steal and take
But little did they know Jesus was walking inside me stomping out the hurt & pain
Ripping out the dilapidated structure that was built with nasty, grimy stains
Rebuilding the His foundation and walls from within
No one knew even had a clue that He had all the robbers surrounded
His glory & protection encompassed my inner place
The four faces of Christ brought life instead of take
Every night at 3rd watch He sat inside my praise
Every night whether in a drunken stupor or silently praying in my bed
The aroma of my prayers reached his nostrils & kissed my forehead
His love brought me back to life to witness His Word in my own unique way
I was terrified but I gave Him the benefit of the doubt anyway
He had inducted me into His army and a great warrior I’d be
By His endowment of favor, spiritual giftings, grace, & His mercy
He’s THE ONE who enables me to prosper & continue to dream
My name is Che’ri (Shu-rie) not Sherry.
Written by Min. Che’ri Humphrey, M.Ed.
Copyrights© 2012 (9/5/12; rvs'd 2/26/13)
ABUSE HOTLINES/Call centers
(National, or Bridgeport, Fairfield County)
Children & Families, State of CT , Dept of Bridgeport office, 100 Fairfield Ave, Bridgeport, CT 06604, 203.384.5300
OTHER CF STATE OF CT OFFICES:
New Haven Office, One Long Wharf Drive, CT 06511, 203.786.0500
Hartford Office, 250 Hamilton St, Hartford, CT 06106, 860.418.8000
Stamford Office, 401 Shippan Ave, Stamford, CT 06902, 203.348.4294
Bridgeport Domestic Violence Hotline 888-774-2900
Bridgeport Cocaine/AA Abuse 800-283-2134
Crisis Crime 800-559-SAFE (7233)
American Humane Society, DC 800-227-4645. To expose publically or just speak to AHS media dept. contact Film and TV office, 818-501-0123
Anti Gay Violence 260-350-HATE OR 718-250-2759
Bridgeport Area for Domestic Violence 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Safe Horizon, Org. 800-621-HOPE
Lippincott's Nursing Center Hotline 800-840-6537
Cyber Addiction 866-569-7077
Cyber Theft 888-400-5530
Bully 215-400-SAFE
Office of Victim Advocacy (CT) 800-822-8428
Connsac 888-999-5545
CT 211
24 Hr. Sexual Assault Crisis (203)348-9346/731-5204,
Domestic Violence 731-5206
RAINN 800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Child Abuse (800) 422-4453
National Teen Dating Abuse 866-331-9474
National Domestic Violence/Child Abuse/Sexual Abuse 800-799-SAFE
National Council of Alcoholism 800-622-2255
National Alliance on Mental Illness (ex. NPD Disorders, Bipolar, Suicidal, Depression, or other chemical imbalance disorders, or issues resulting from the abuse like anxiety, etc) 800-788-5131
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Youth....
Support Group 888-843-4564
Emergency Contraception Hotline "think you're pregnant due to rape"
888-NOT-2-LATE (668-2528)
Al-Anon/Alateen "Do your parents have a drinking problem?" 800-344-2666
Suicide Hotline 877-892-9211
Peer to Peer HIV/AIDS/STD 800-227-8922/800-342-2437
THOSE SEEKING SUPPORT GROUPS or PROFESSIONAL HELP; IN FAIRFIELD COUNTY, CT
Westport:
Help with self-esteem 203.557.4601
Coping with grief 203.293.6971
Stress Management 203.293.6971
Women's Trauma 203.275.9918
For those who are Narc; mixed adults 203.885.7902
Anger Management 203.350.0571
Westport, CT Support Groups 203.701.7220
Julia Trebing, 20 Applebeer Rd., Stamford, CT 203.324.5556
For depression at Stamford Hospital 203.276.7439
Stamford Psychiatry and Geriatric 203.323.7317
Peace of Mind Psychological Services, LLC, CT 203.560-8068
Bibliography for Pt. 1 & 2:
ABUSE WEBSITES TO LEARN OR RECEIVE HELP (references)
www.violencepreventionworks.org
www.lippincottsnursingcenter.com
www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page17.htm
I AM NO ONE
Written by Che'ri Humphrey
I am no one
But I am someone
I am a woman who desires love;
Expecting the same protection and financial security every female wants;
who comes alive at the touch of gentle hands and kisses of a true friend
I am Black
Sometimes ignored because of the color of my skin
And having on occasion endured subtle and overt prejudices & hate
I am a Survivor
Who has made it through insurmountable pains that led to private moments
that not only changed my life, but others; healing has taken place
I am now middle-aged
Yet feel younger than every everyday realizing who I am;
My wants, dreams, needs, where I've improved and need improvement
No need to toy or play with what I won't tolerate
Being completely upfront no matter the cost or unnecessary debates
Despite the frienemy hateration, & sometimes the jealousy of certain family
For Proverbs 14:30 tells me, "A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot," so I fret not!
I am creativity and my expression of art flows like rivers unending
Yet to see what's to come and unfold
I am You
A human being that needs water, shelter, clothing, love, and food to thrive;
Hating the injustices of the past & of this time
I am Spirit
And I'm no longer condemned
Christ's blood paid the cost for me live;
Encountering Him I can longer be who I was
And still I struggle to be who I'm to become
For without the Father's love I am NO ONE.
Interlude
I am the daughter, sister, the cousin, the Godmother, the teacher, and friend
Who sometimes made grave mistakes
in wanting to see our suffering cease and end
Also, hoping you'd accomplish goals and succeed
Whether you hated, pretended, or liked me
Redeemed, so a new you will be made through salvation
Praying that my will and freedom of choice are good ones
I have made and will make
I am the Trailblazer, artist, entrepreneur, and preacher
all rolled in one seeking to reach my purpose
and pray my victories are won
I am on the same journey
learning how to live free by way of what Jesus did for me
Formerly, in my pursuit of acceptance
Now, I've learned to be grateful, appreciate, and accept the God in me
He knew who I'd become before I even met me
John 1:9 taught me that, "...you will know the truth & the truth will set you free," the truth is-
Without the Father's love
I am NO One
You see,
This is spoken WORD, Rhema poetry
Written by Che'ri Humphrey
Copyrights© 2013 (1/20/13; rvs'd 2/26/13)
Scripture References:
Matthew 5:44-45
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 22:4-5 Psalm 22:4-5
In you our fathers trusted;
they trusted, and you delivered them.
To you they cried and were rescued;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.
Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his opinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.
Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge—
no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
Psalm 118:6-9
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
The Lord is on my side as my helper;
I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in princes.
Psalms 46:1
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (KJV)
Psalms 27:10
“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” (KJV)
Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (NIV)
Matthew 28:20
“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” (KJV)
Hebrews 13:5
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (ESV)
2 Timothy 4:16-17
“At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.” (NIV)
Psalm 68:6a
“God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.” (NASB)
Lamentations 3:24-25 “”The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him.” (NASB)
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (NASB)
Luke 19:10
“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost.” (Amplified)
Matthew 14:13-14
“When Jesus heard what had happened to John, he left in a boat and went to a lonely place by himself. But the crowds heard about it and followed him on foot from the towns. When he arrived, he saw a great crowd waiting. He felt sorry for them and healed those who were sick.” (NCV)
Luke 5:16 “..but Jesus often slipped away to be alone so he could pray.” (NCV)
Psalm 62:1-2
“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”
DVD COLLECTION AVAILABLE FOR ORDER: ASIB 2009-2012, PROMISES 2009-2011. Call for special price for the entire collection.
DITR is in need of funding, donors, angel investors, videographer, website developer, and photographer for the next upcoming event. We are also in prayer for new team members to come on board. DITR reaches our youth via the arts, and adults in the CT region and Tri-state area. Will you help us help our community in 2013?
Send monetary contributions via PayPal to Cheri Humphrey at CLHUMPHREY@ROCKETMAIL.com
Postal address has changed to:
Ms. Che'ri Humphrey, PO Box 13, Norwalk, CT 06852
To send feedback for this column write to: cherihumphrey@gmail.com Every vision, ministry, or business requires finances to make it happen and see things come into fruition with God’s power, of course.
For Minister Che’ri Humphrey’s services/products, or consultation in the following areas, call 203.952.9807 to book or contract DITR out:
1. Consultant/Life Ministry Coach for survivors of abuse
2. Producer/Event planner & Organizer/Emcee
3. Artist Developer of “Kinky (hair) Creations Entertainment”
4. Fine-Artist (oils, pastels, charcoal, pencil, spray paint, acrylics)
5. Poet/Spoken WORD Minister
6. Preaching and/or speaker, educator
7. Actress and Theatre Play Director
8. Writer (columnist, reporter, musical lyrics, poetry, novels, screen and theatre)
9. Singer (a member of the McDonald’s Gospel Choir since 2007)
10. Instructor to teach DITR curriculum call the above number.
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next broadcast on 3/18/13 "Secrets & Breakthrough's Revealed)
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Facebook pages:
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If you're not apart of the solution then you're apart of the problem. Start a community org., a business, a ministry where you're called, or mentor a child, or young adult. Or you can assist us in the New Year, 2013. Thank you!
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