'Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains' finale recap: masters of the game

Sandra: "as long as it ain't me."

CBS

 

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We've seen a lot of unusual things happen on this season of "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains," from the Heroes completely imploding to JT thinking Russell was a nice guy to Colby making it further than everyone else on his tribe despite the fact that he clearly doesn't care if he's there or not.

Now, we only have five castaways left

• Colby: the indifferent outsider (though CBS tried somehow to make him appear like he deserved to make it to the end)
• Russell: the self-proclaimed mastermind
• Parvati: the scheming champ
• Jerri: the reformed "black widow" (who got quite a likable edit much of this season)
• Sandra: the sneaky game-player

The beginning of the end

The final five returned to camp to have a massive round of hypocrisy. Russell tried to "micro-manage" the group by acting upset about Sandra hiding the idol. He accused Parvati of lying to him, which was funny because no one actually had any idea of it. As he shouted at just about every, Sandra just sat there with a smirk on her face.

The immunity challenge this week was going to be "all or nothing" for Colby, since if he loses he will pretty much be the next one out.

Unfortunately for the Texan, this wasn't a challenge that benefited him at all -- it was the "balancing dishes" bit we saw in China. Everyone actually brought their game this time around, as there was no one who left pathetically early.

Sandra was the first one to start wobbling, and she therefore was the first person knocked out. She was soon followed by Jerri (who managed to get 14 dishes balanced). Russell's tower started to waver after adding a medium-sized bowl, and he was next.

Colby is making this a challenge! Finally, it is nice to see the guy bring back the effort we once saw out of him. Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to take down the challenge beast that is Parvati. Both of them were probably on the line, but it was Colby who was forced to head back to camp to scramble.

The end for the final Hero

Parvati came back to the challenge to do some gloating, but really we all know that there wasn't going to be a bunch of drama. Of course, it would've been a lot nicer of Colby didn't more or less give up after the challenge in hopes of getting a "sympathy vote."

Or did he really give up? The guy went up to Russell just to see what the gameplan was. He actually did present a decent point -- if you want to keep Parvati from winning another immunity challenge, then he is probably a better person to keep around. Even with that microscopic nugget of hope, Colby was still voted out at tribal council unanimously.

So am I shocked to see Colby leave the game? Yes, mainly because the guy could make no legitimate argument at all as to why he could win the game. That said, it would have been a complete disgrace if he managed to pull it off -- no one who ever wants to quit the game should ever win. (I still want to take the "Big Brother" prize away from Jordan.)

The rite of passage

After hearing the vote, Parvati realized that she was actually a big threat and could very well win if she makes it to the end. Jerri stroked Russell's ego when she talked about Parvati, probably setting him up for a fall later.

We then had the ceremonial "rite of passage," which was funny simply because none of these Villains really had any idea who Sugar (or Tom) even was. We also got to watch Randy throw the buff in the fire again! It also made me miss Boston Rob, and Coach, and it also made me remember how big of an idiot Tyson was for effectively voting himself out.

Now, we move on to the final immunity challenge of the season -- a blindfolded "Survivor" maze. After grabbing the necklaces in the maze, they then have to grab the final necklace at the end in order to win.

This challenge was actually a blast to watch, since everyone actually did their best impression of a pinball. Sandra and Russell ran into Parvati about a million times, but in the end our "Samoa" villain ended up grabbing the necklace just second before everyone else. This guarantees him a one-in-three chance of winning, at least technically. (The odds are probably less than that, though, since no one really seems to like him.)

The original "black widow" leaves

After the challenge, Russell came up with the idea to take Sandra to the end simply because he thinks he can beat her. (Bad move, buddy.) In the end, he is basing his decision solely on who he thinks he can get a vote from at the end of the game, which is really a dumb way to vote someone out. Parvati is a WAY bigger threat.

At tribal council, the topic of conversation was really who was the biggest threat. Jerri pointed out that Parv was the biggest threat, whereas Parv tried to play the whole "redeem yourself" argument since she was her #1 alliance. It looked like things would have changed when Parvati took some of the credit for "protecting" Russell, but in the end he decided to stick with her anyway and get Jerri out.

I admit that seeing Jerri go this time around makes me a little sad. She used to be one of my most hated former castaways, but she really turned it around this season and managed to become one of the most interesting players in the game. I said in my preview Saturday that I may have voted for her if I was on the jury, but alas we will never have a chance to know. (Let's all slow-clap Russell for spelling Jerri's name "Jerry.")

The last day at camp

By having Russell to the end, Parvati and Sandra have done an incredibly smart thing -- they've turned the finale into a two-person race. No one in their right mind would vote for Russell, since he has successfully managed to tick off just about everyone on the jury.

However, Russell really doesn't see it this way. Parvati started talking about how "awesome" she is, and then Sandra decided to take the cocky guy's hat and throw it straight in the fire. Now, he finally knows what it is like to have other articles of clothing burned! I would vote for Sandra just for that act alone.

Now...the jury has their say

Jury votes in "Survivor" can either go one of two ways -- they are bitter and give hilariously awesome speeches, or they just don't care and ask a bunch of ho-hum questions.

Sandra gave a great opening statement about having no real alliances since the merge, Russell played the victim, and Parvati talked about how awesome she was. She then brought up dragons in front of Coach -- never bring up dragons in front of Coach!

Here's a summary of the jurors:

• Colby: He went straight at Russell for saying he made it to the end out of "luck," but then made a clearly pro-Parvati move in figuring out some of her strategy on the way. She gave a pretty great answer.
• Coach: I love Coach's speeches. He talked about Sandra doing absolutely nothing in challenges, which he hates since he is all about "strength."
• Amanda: She immediately went to Sandra to ask about her strategy, and she preceded to talk about how bad she wanted Russell. I don't know if this was the best thing for Sandra to say, since it basically made it sound like her plan failed.
• Courtney: We all know Courtney is voting for Sandra! Really, this whole speech was just a Sandra lovefest.
• JT: This is the first time JT has given a speech in "Survivor," so cut him some slack if his question was a little strange. This led to Parvati trying to throw Sandra under the bus for not winning any challenges, but she's not really a physical person.
• Danielle: She asked Russell if he would change anything, and he said no. (Probably not the best answer.) Unfortunately, he got up on his high horse, which unfortunately for him means he's not going to get any votes.
• Jerri: She started off by saying she was undecided, and then asked Russell about getting voted out. He claimed it was because she was a jury threat, but Parvati claimed that it was because he thought he was getting her vote.
• Candice: She decided to call Russell out for telling "dirty lies," and then proclaimed that Parvati played the game "under Russell's thumb."
• Rupert: Good times! Rupert completely destroyed Russell at this tribal council, and then he expressed his thanks to Sandra for trying to suggest getting Russ out of the game.

Now, we come to the votes. Sandra was declared the winner -- commence your rejoicing.

So will everyone love Sandra as a winner? Probably not, since fans of both Parvati and Russell will likely claim they made more moved in the game. However, Sandra really epitomized what a good "Survivor" is -- she stuck around despite not having the numbers on her side, and she made big moves (such as getting out Coach and keeping the immunity idol to herself) when she needed to. She was a smart, shrewd player who deserves to win -- unlike Natalie from last season.

Are you happy with the outcome from "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains?" Let me know your thoughts with a comment and stay tuned for my Reunion Show recap. You can also check out my ranking of the winners below.

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