Last night after writing my 13th article I couldn't help but have an overwhelming sense of loss deep inside. I had sewn together more dolls to prepare for my daughter's arrival in the morning and organized my writing material for the day ahead but still felt as if something was missing. After some serious down time to contemplate life I came to a few conclusions and conveniently they fit into this topic quite perfectly.
When we see the tug of war the world plays with our hearts and souls its hard not to feel down sometimes. We give of ourselves but feel we do not get half as much as we give to others. We expect reciprocation and this sets us up for disappointment and sadness. I have given for so long to the point where there is so little left to give, be it resources or just a shoulder to cry on, that I need a place to turn to. My writings give me a chance to sit quietly by myself with no pressure from anyone to perform to any caliber or quantity at my own pace and everything I write comes from my heart of hearts. I give of my soul to a world I cannot see and thus feel as though I have no right to ask for anything in return.
When it comes to raising my child, I would give her the universe if it meant she would be happy for even one second longer. I ask only that she eat all her vegetables and clean up her dolls when she is done and even that at times is asking too much. I merely want for her happiness and health. All else in life seems to fade into nothingness when she smiles at me with those fiendish eyes. She is my heart and soul in living form. Everything right in my life is my daughter.
As a single mom who shares custody with her father I have learned that my daughter's happiness often times requires major sacrifices on my behalf. Life works this way sometimes. It is never all take take take but it is so easy to find ourselves glitzed out when the rest of the world rusts. We clear away bites not eaten at dinner when others go hungry. We take so many things for granted that many places all over the world have not yet dreamed could be. When I see my daughter and the opportunities ahead of her I know I must teach her to give selflessly to others when they are in need.
When we have all we need and then some we can get so bored with life. Where is the spark of adventure found only in the chase? Where is the drive to keep trying for the elusive fruits of our labor? Life can have a sense of stagnation when we lose that excitement and we may abandon the thought to ever give of our time to experience a new sense of journey. To help others less fortunate, be it with our time or helping them up when they have fallen, is to truly know the full swing of life.
We may be stubborn in our thoughts that we must hold onto everything we ever earn in life lest we find ourselves with naught but letting go of rusted worn out thought patters helps one to grow and evolve as a person. The force of life pulls and pushes at its own pace and sometimes throws us headlong down the staircase of hardship. When we find ourselves down on our luck do we not seek the comfort of an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on? If we, ourselves, never give to others then how can we ever expect to receive in kind? Love begets love.
making small sacrifices do add up. Perhaps you donate old clothing to Salvation Army or volunteer at the local Oak Lawn PADS Homeless shelter at the Oak Lawn Community church on Sunday nights. We must grow to be a world that learns it is ok to lean on one another and help support the whole, together in unified thought and desire to survive hand in hand. If we never learn to give we have no right to take.