July 17th is Toss Away the “Could Have’s” and “Should Have’s” Day.
Are you prepared to toss away all of the feelings you have of what you could have and should have done to save an already doomed relationship?
Are you prepared to find out how you can make a difference in the life of a child affected by physical, emotional, or mental abuse?
Are you ready to stop the cycle of abuse, so your children, and your children’s children, can grow up and create healthy, supportive, and loving relationships?
The Social Wellness of Children Affected by Domestic Abuse
Domestic Violence often leaves one feeling like they could have or should have done something “righter” because a spouse, partner, or loved one destroyed the social wellness of another.
In honor of Social Wellness Month, it’s time for you to toss away all of those feelings of what you could have or should have done better to salvage your relationship with an abuser.
Abusers often attack the self-esteem of their victim’s leaving the victim feeling hopeless. The reality is victims often couldn’t do anything better than they already did. Domestic Violence is never the fault of the victim.
The Domestic Violence Coordinating Council reports that according to F.B.I. Crime Statistics, every 15 seconds a woman is beaten in the United States; and up to half of all women in the U.S. killed by homicide are killed by ex-partners, lovers, or intimate family members.
Worse, half of all homeless women are there because of DV, according to the same statistics.
For more information on the Denver Domestic Violence Coordinating Council,
2727 Bryant St No. 350, Denver, CO 80211
July is also National Child Centered Divorce Month…
Remember children are often the silent victims of Domestic Violence. Children that witness domestic violence, especially between their parents or a caretaker, are much more likely to grow up violent or abusive.
This includes emotional abuse! Sometimes abuse happens in the mental, psychological, or emotional plane. An abuser may ignore his or her spouse. He may contradict her. Make her feel crazy, by saying one thing, and then taking it back.
Children witness these things, and watch the effects this type of abuse has on the victim. The abuser often uses psychological abuse on children, in the form of words and actions. Name calling is a common form of abuse directed toward children. So is neglect.
Witnessing domestic abuse is one of the biggest risk factors and predictors for abuse in adults. According to multiple studies published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, F.B.I., and other large studies, children that witness abuse can almost count on developing some kind of abusive behavior as an adult.
With proper intervention, and loving guidance however, this pattern can stop, just like the could have's and should have game can!
Crime statistics suggest up to 50% or more abusers of intimate partners will abuse children either physically, emotionally, or mentally. Child maltreatment in some form, even in the form of manipulating children unconsciously to the advantage of the abuser, is commonplace in society. Some abusers are not even aware they do this, as abuse becomes ingrained into everyday behavior.
The Centers of Disease Control and Prevention report that one in every ten calls placed to the police for domestic violence is made by a child, witnessing some form of abuse. These children are often neglected in some way. Their emotional needs are not met.
So remember, toss away the should have’s and could have’s and start taking care of yourself, and your children today.
Don’t forget to reach out to our children…there are many resources in Denver for children affected by violence…pick up the telephone and call one and find out what you can do to make a difference in the life of a child affected by domestic violence.
Project PAVE (youth) 303-863-7233
Healing from the Heart (youth) 303-733-1176