The Tuesday, March 18 episode of "Supernatural," 916, "Blade Runners," sees Sam and Dean find out what Crowley's been up to while he's been MIA as the search for the First Blade continues.
Oh, Crowley Crowley is entertaining as always when he shows up on "Supernatural," and this time, his blood addiction has led to him ignoring Dean's (or "Not Moose," as the King of Hell has him in his phone) calls – "Too busy inflicting pain to answer" is his voicemail message – and only interested in sex, human blood and pizza, things he's getting from Lola, who's actually just serving as a spy for his opposition. However, Crowley may be spending his time crying to movies and reading "Little Women," but he knows when he's being played, and he kills her. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen before she tells Abaddon's minion that the Winchesters have been leaving him voicemails and mentioned The First Blade.
Sam and Dean turn to a crossroads demon to try to find Crowley since he won't answer his phone, and for some reason, that demon turns out to be Snooki? It seems to just be a way to use demonic intervention to explain her fame? She tells them that Crowley's losing even his loyal followers and Abaddon's getting ready to make her move, things that are pretty obvious given what's going on, and Sam exorcises her.
Crowley finally calls Dean back, and they have to give him a mini-intervention as he rattles on about humanity and his addiction and his burden, and it's back to the dungeon for him, chains and all. Brushing Crowley's sentimentality and memories of their bonding in the church aside, Sam makes him focus on the Blade's location – at one point it was lost to pirates in a poker game - but after they finally find out where it currently is thanks to some body-jumping from Crowley, that vault is empty.
Finally, they're put on Magnus' trail, as the mysterious man bought it from the National Institute of Antiquities after it couldn't be authenticated. Sam recognizes the name from the Men of Letters, and Sam and Dean look into the master of spells who was tossed out before the massacre while Crowley sits back, chained in the library with them, with bad scotch and Dean's porn. "How do you ever function without me?" He wonders as he's the one to tell them about this rogue member.
Dean's burden Crowley had been hoping to find Magnus all those years ago so he could find a way into the bunker, but the demons tracked him to what looked like an empty field. However, Magnus' place is just warded, and Sam and Dean get the golden ticket inside after yelling about how they're legacies. Before they can talk to Magnus, they have to pass his test, which involves killing two vampires from his zoo. Yes, zoo. Magnus' fancy fortress is home to a collection of supernatural rarities and antiquities. He also lives up to being the master of spells as he looks quite good for someone who should be about 90 and sends Sam away in a cloud of smoke once he finds out Dean has the Mark of Cain.
Magnus wants to add Dean to his collection to complete his set and so he has a companion since he's gotten lonely in his zoo/museum/crazy equivalent of the bunker (and maybe even to feed his own addiction of supernatural rarities?). Dean tries to use his weapons on him, but Magnus knows plenty of spells and instead ties him up and forces him to hold the Blade, causing the Mark to glow and very much affecting Dean. Magnus explains that it'll get easier next time and he'll get used to the feelings and even welcome them, and that just doesn't sound good for Dean. Magnus wants to use him, and none of this looks good for Dean's future. Is he right that Dean will get used to those feelings?
Meanwhile, Sam has to work with Crowley, who just wants to recreate some of that bonding experience from the church, to put together a spell to get back into Magnus' House of Horrors, but once inside, Sam grabs Magnus, only for it to be a shapeshifter, and Magnus chains him up too. He realizes that Sam's more valuable than he thought, and thinks he'll be able to use him to get Dean to see things his way. When he begins slicing at Sam's face and neck, Dean rages and struggles as predicted, but Magnus is too distracted to realize that Dean's free until he cuts off his head with the First Blade.
The Mark on Dean's arm glows, and he raises his arm. Sam has to keep yelling at him that it's over and to drop the blade until he finally gets through the hold it has on Dean and his brother listens, but it's very telling of what's likely to come. This doesn't bode well for the end of the season and for the brothers, but could this be one of the first steps to fixing the rift between them? At the beginning of the episode, while Dean's trying to reach Crowley, Sam's researching Cain and Abel, but will any of what he reads actually be helpful? Could this lead to Dean's own kind of addiction?
Trust issues Well, in this case, they're warranted. At first, Sam wonders if Crowley just double-crossed them, but Dean points out that he needs him to take out his competition. However, that doesn't mean that they can't use the Blade on him after taking out Abaddon, right? Crowley knows what they're thinking as Sam reminds Dean of just this once they have the blade, and Crowley takes control of the situation. He may be blood-addicted, but he's still Crowley, and he's keeping the Blade until they find Abaddon. They really shouldn't have expected anything else.
"Supernatural" season 9 airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on the CW. What did you think of "Blade Runners"?