This Sunday is Mother's Day and if you have put off the decision of how and what to do for this holiday it's officially late. Here is an idea - go make this holiday special right now. Many of our mothers are gone and we will either ignore the day or celebrate it with a spouse or child for the holiday. Here is a thought why not take a few flowers to a skilled nursing facility for the people residing there. You do not have to buy out a store, just purchase some carnations and a few of fern leaves.
This year as we think of our loss, there are those who will not have people coming to see them; and we can make a difference. Although this will not replace the feelings of having our own mother present, we will have a very good feeling in our heart for this act of kindness. This is the gesture of total kindness. In many of the cases we don't know these wonderful people or the circumstances, but what we do know is at this moment they are alone.
If we are the child of a person with dementia and wanting to do something, however have no idea of what; let's think of the emotion behind the gift. Thank about what was especially fun or made her feel important in the past, then do that again. If our mother is past the buying of a gift, not understanding and many times not coming out of the shell to receive any gift; think back to the times when we were smaller and we gave Mom a picture or homemade gift. Do this again. It may seem childish or ridiculous to give a person in their 80's a homemade gift from a child of 60 years old; however this is the gift that will make a difference.
The most important thing we can do is to spend some time with our Mother. Even if we find this an exercise in futility, do it anyway. We will find as we spend the next few months we can look back on this day and never be sorry, we did our best.