Suing the mistress can sometimes be a good strategic move - a preemptive
strike. It may be the only way a wife can get a persistent mistress to back off
and leave her husband alone. Photo: istockphoto.com / Robert Bocian
Most people think of suing the mistress as a form of revenge. But it can also be a good strategic move - a preemptive strike.
When a wife sues her husband’s mistress for alienation of affection, people assume she’s only doing it to get revenge. See Suing Your Husband’s Mistress for Alienation of Affection and Other Legal Forms of Revenge - part 2. While that may be true of some betrayed wives who sue their husbands’ mistresses, that isn’t always the case.
Sue the Mistress and Save Your Marriage - a Preemptive Strike
Sometimes, suing the husband’s mistress can be a good strategic move for a betrayed wife.
It may be worth it, even if the wife doesn’t follow through with the lawsuit -- or even if she sues and can’t collect.
Many times, just the mere threat of such a lawsuit will make the mistress back off, and give the betrayed wife an opportunity to salvage what’s left her marriage.
Some mistresses can be very persistent, especially if her married lover seems to be losing interest in her, or having second thoughts about cheating on his wife. The mistress may step up her efforts at seduction, if she feels that her married lover is slipping away.
But the affair will quickly lose most of its appeal to the mistress, if it means she has to shell out money to defend herself in court against your alienation of affection lawsuit – or if she faces the prospect of paying you thousands of dollars if you win the case.
Most mistresses would rather move on to greener pastures, than pay for the privilege of being in a relationship with someone else’s cheating spouse.
With the mistress conveniently out of the way, the wife may be able to get her wayward husband into marriage counseling. With professional help, the couple stands a good chance of being able to get their marriage back on track.
What You Should Know About Suing a Mistress
Before giving any serious thought to suing your husband’s mistress, it would be helpful to find out exactly what an alienation of affection lawsuit involves. See How to Sue Your Husband’s Mistress – Basic Things You Need to Know.
You should also be aware that only 7 states still have alienation of affection lawsuits still on the books - Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Hampshire, North Carolina, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah.
However, under certain circumstances, it may still be possible to sue your husband’s mistress, even if you don’t live in one of these 7 states.
Consult an attorney who specializes in alienation of affection lawsuits to see if you have a legitimate case.
If You Sue His Mistress, and Want to Actually Collect
Cynthia Shackelford of North Carolina recently sued her husband’s mistress for alienation of affection and won $9 million. See Betrayed Wife Sues Husband’s Mistress for $9 Million and Wins – You Can Too – Part 1. But since the mistress has nowhere near that amount of money, it’s doubtful that Shackelford will ever collect.
If you plan to sue your husband’s mistress for alienation of affection, and actually want to collect if the court rules in your behalf, there are 3 things you need to do:
• Find out who his mistress is
• Get court admissible proof.
• Make sure his mistress has sufficient assets to make a lawsuit worthwhile.
A reverse phone search or e-mail search can help you find out the name of your husband’s mistress, if you don’t already know. An online background check can give you information about any assets she may own. See What You Need to Know About Your Husband’s Mistress and Why.
NOTE: This article is for information purposes only, and is not intended to be legal advice. See Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation, for further clarification. And consult an attorney who specializes in alienation of affection lawsuits to see if you have a legitimate case.
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*** © copyright 2010 Ruth Houston All Rights Reserved.
Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com , the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her speak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com
For more practical advice on dealing with your husband’s mistress, see the articles below:
How to Sue Your Husband’s Mistress – Basic Things You Need to Know
Which States Allow a Wife to Sue a Husband’s Mistress and What Does this Involve?
What You Need to Know about Your Husband’s Mistress and Why
Elin Nordegren, Like Most Betrayed Wives Today, Checked Out Her Husband’s Mistresses Online
5 Common Excuses Cheating Men Use to See Their Mistresses
Betrayed Wife Sues Husband’s Mistress for $9 Million and Wins – You Can Too – Part 1
Suing Your Husband’s Mistress for Alienation of Affection and Other Legal Forms of Revenge part 2
How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand (free tip sheet)
How to Legally and Financially Get Revenge on a Cheating Spouse (free tip sheet)
Infidelity Resources to Help You Catch a Cheating Mate (contains information on how to run an online background check on a mistress)
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