Are you an introvert or an extravert? As an introvert, I can tell you that while I do like people, I am not at ease in crowds. I push myself to get through commitments that might involve leadership tasks, like talking in the front of a group of people because I am shy. I am loyal to my family and friends and I feel lucky to have such a wonderful support circle but I actually enjoy spending time alone too; it’s something I need in order to feel balanced. I spend a lot of time in my head processing all that I encounter in life. I have found a wonderful man, who is very similar to me in most ways (a hard worker, similar goals, passionate, creative etc.,) except he is an extravert. While he is usually the life of the party, I like to blend into this environment. He is very social; he makes friends wherever we go. People energize him. He processes from the outside in as apposed to me. It seems to work for us; our relationship, after many years, is still awesome. This made me wonder if success in a relationship is more probable if the partnership is made up of opposite personalities, an introvert and an extrovert?
PsychologyToday.com offers this insight, “Introverts… and extroverts… have opposite—we prefer to call it “complementary”—means of dealing with stress and meeting their emotional needs. Introverts tend to be self-reflective and seek out spaces where they can access their inner experiences freely. Extroverts on the other hand are predisposed to seek out others with whom they can engage and find the answers to their questions in the dialogue that the interactive process provides. It might seem counter-intuitive for these two very different personality types to get together, but it actually makes perfect sense from a relationship standpoint.”
They go on to say how it is likely the matching of two extraverts would cause “burn out” because they would lack down time, something an introvert would bring to the relationship.
On the other hand, two introverts would potentially have a more dull relationship lacking outside interface and passion eventually causing the partnership to “flat line”.
It seems genuine friends and partners offer a give and take that balances each other’s needs; this is essential for healthy relationships.
If you have a track record of picking the wrong significant other, and you’re an introvert, consider dating an extravert or vice versa. Who knows, it might be just the thing you’ve lacked in a partner and this missing link might help you manifest your “happily ever after”.