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Toronto's illustrious, lying, loud-mouthed, drunk, ignorant, crack-smoking mayor rolled into office promising subways for all. Three years later, they have yet to materialize.

Of course, this is somewhat understandable, given the long construction times subways require. But what, then was the point of promising them? The extension of the Spadina line up to Vaughan started construction two years before Ford was elected and will be completed two years after the likely end of his tenure (that is, of course, assuming that the people of Toronto opt for a less ridiculous Mayor in the next election).

The Scarborough subway line only got approval a few months ago, and a completion date isn't even on the horizon. In fact, one could circle the Earth looking for the Scarborough subway completion date, loop all the way back around, and it still wouldn't be on the horizon.

The much-needed downtown relief line? That's just a dream of those downtown elites: Bay Street bankers, Ryerson students, and people who work at the Eaton's Centre. If they're really lucky, and if they close their eyes and wish really hard, it might get started before the sun goes supernova.

On the other hand, the Union-Pearson rail line will be up and ready in 18 months, making it that much easier to get the hell out of town.

So, the subways, subways, subways that Ford offered up won't be done until long after he's gone back to whatever it is he used to do at the family business.