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Substance abuse hits 'Family Circus' as Jeffy seems to be trying steroids

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At last, the pudgy middle child in America's most above-board comics family is indulging in illicit substances - and he looks great!

Yes, it's true, drugs can rip a family apart. But in Jeffy's case, they can also grant a ripped physique.

Just take a gander at Saturday's "Family Circus," in which the sight of a bulked-up Jeffy greets curious readers. What happened to the kid's saggy torso and extra stomach? Has Jeffy been jogging and trying his hand at yoga? Avoiding sweets? Sauntering about the neighborhood with Sam and Barfy?

Whatever the kid's been ingesting - human growth hormone or something the guys in Major League Baseball sample -we are all for it. Jeffy, after all, is well past middle age, and if he doesn't do something to improve his physique, he may never wade into the dating pool.

Of course, it helps that Daddy Keane has been trying to supplement his income with occasional Walter White-type forays into the business of manufacturing methamphetamine. Supplies must be ample for Jeffy to have enough to get his chest and shoulders into that kind of shape.

If Jeffy can keep it up without the authorities discovering what he's up to, it may just help this often-wayward character turn a corner and get on with the business of growing up and getting old. You can't be a child actor forever, Jeffy!

That said, the next time a panel of "Family Circus" depicts Jeffy getting ready to throw a temper tantrum, we'd like to suggest you hustle on over to "Sally Forth" or "Luann" and spare yourself the violent scene likely to break out.

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