Substance abuse, a letter of hope

Families struggling with substance abuse problems are difficult enough, but many parents don't really know what to say to their kids. Often, denial sets in, and the parent/s are eager to believe just about anything their child throws at them with respect to their use of drugs.

Below is a letter that you might like to give to your teen, or even a friend if you think they are having problems with drug abuse, or dependency, or know they do.

This letter is not intended to take the place of talking to your kids, or friends about addiction, but to help you in your efforts at getting their attention, and letting them know that you care. It is aimed at teens, but can apply to anyone.

The lettter is anonymized in order to apply to anyone struggling with substance abuse, or just starting to use by experimenting. It may help, and it may not help, but the message surely can do no more harm than what has probably transpired already with the person using drugs, and the grief, and anguish the parents are suffering trying to make sense of it all.

Dear Son, Daughter, Friend:

I’m writing you this letter in hopes of reaching a place in your heart, and mind about the path you are taking, and/or lifestyle you are about to get swallowed into.

Even though I know little, or nothing about you personally, I understand what you are going through, how you feel, and maybe even think. I have been there many times before.

Does that sound like a bold statement to make? It isn’t when you think about it because we are a lot alike in one way, both of us have drug abuse in common. One struggling with the problem, and the other in recovery with much more experience than you can ever imagine.

I am a recovering addict who started shooting heroin in the late sixties, and didn’t stop until 2004, after my 6th prison sentence. But I know, what does that have to do with you? Well, it could have too much to do with you, or nothing at all, depending on the path you take in life. Right now you are in over your head, and probably don't even realize it, or if you do, you just don't care any longer.

  OxyContin setup for use

Whether you believe you can handle what you are doing, or not,  I  know that once drugs sink their claws into you, it’s over. And while this letter is about addictive drugs, opiates in particular, other drugs can be just as dangerous, especially if used in combination with others.

If you haven't been caught using drugs yet, eventually  you will. Family members are usually the last to find out. Sometimes, however, parents get tipped off by others, even one of your friends.

But those using drugs have about a 2 year head start before the family gets wise. By then, if you are addicted, the stealing, and other drama has already worked its way into your life. When you do get caught many drug users plead for forgiveness until things settle down, and be back at it again until the next time. The drama begins almost immediately, however, when you start using because you know deep down inside that you are doing something wrong.

Think that it can’t happen to you? Don’t! Countless other people have said the same thing about drugs. Many have died, others have long records, prison numbers, body parts missing, and horrendous health problems because they thought they knew what they were doing. How can you know what you’re doing if you never traveled this path before? I know, it won’t happen to you because you know what you’re doing, right? Wrong.

You may be the perfect candidate for becoming an addict, if you’re not one already. You probably had a somewhat rocky upbringing probably due to some family issues, such as divorce, or some other traumatic experiences in your life that are leading you to self-medicate those negative feelings away. You are not alone. Most addicts have gone that route before, and still do. It happened to me as well, but I was too hard-headed to listen to anyone else, and literally destroyed my life.

The same path you are now taking, ended up costing me 36 years of life, 22 of which were spent in prisons. I also died once in the hospital after a high-speed police chase in the metro Detroit area that ended up with me crashing, and rolling a Corvette that landed on top of me after launching me through the T-tops. Did that stop me from conitnuing to use drugs? Briefly!

If you knew of all the crap I went through because I chose to use drugs, and in particular, heroin, you would probably not believe half of it. However, I have no reason to lie to you. Also, I know that horror stories about addiction have little impact on those who experiment, abuse, or are addicted to drugs Most teens who use drugs believe they can handle it, or that they are somehow safe because they are using them in a certain way. If you guys only knew, man. Many, many people have already been there, and did that in the lifestyle of drug abuse, and addiction, and ruined their lives permanently. Many are dead.

No one is coming up with a novel way to abuse drugs successfully. It may be fun, and games now, even “sick”, but eventually a time will come when you’ll have to pay for all that fun, and alteration of reality.
Why should I care about you? Because I don’t want to see you slowly destroy yourself, your family, or anyone else that loves you. Heroin, or any drug for that matter, is just not worth the few hours of suppressed feelings, and not caring about your problems to be worth the pain, and suffering you will experience if you keep on.

Did you know that every time you relapse it usually gets worse?. You pick up where you left off, and the consequences escalate. In one of my prison sentences I did a 5 to 15 year bit for burglary in 1987, (no good-time either, habitual offender 4th degree, facing life in prison), and it literally kicked my butt emotionally, but when I got out I turned my life around, and became a counselor. Did my addiction stop there? No! Did I swear up, and down until Jesus comes home that I was done with drugs, and the lifestyle? Yes! Yes! Yes!

I relapsed, and fell back into the abyss of addiction once again, and didn't see daylight until 2004 when finally arrested again. In between 1992 and 2004, I violated parole several times, and was returned over and over again. Now I have an “F” prefix, (recidivist).

Look, I know what you are going through, and I can sympathize, and empathize. I have been fighting my own demons for decades, lost people close to me, including friends, (3 of them from drugs), and recently some family members. Growing up I felt alienated, frightened, and lost. When I found heroin, it all went away.

Even if you are not abusing drugs every day, and justifying it by saying, well I only use once in a while so it isn't a problem, you are kidding yourself. Once you start, you will think about that feeling it caused more, and more, because it chemically makes everything seem right again.

You like it because of the way it makes you feel, and makes you forget about your problems. I know the self-talk also. I have convinced myself 1000s of times that I can shoot heroin only on the weekends, or a couple of times a month. Been there, did that, and snorting, or smoking the stuff is no different either, it is still addictive. Is that lifestyle something you think you deserve?

Did you know that the lifestyle of drug abuse, and addiction is just as addictive as the drug itself? You bond with the lifestyle, despite negative consequences. It becomes familiar to you, and comfortable, making it a very insidious master of your life.

Eventually, you will increase the frequency at which you are using. By that time, you will have become used to the drug, its feeling, and accept it as your new reality. And when that happens, it is all over my friend, it’s on! Life becomes much more complicated, and dangerous when you become addicted. I know what that drugged feeling means to you, and how it makes problems disappear for a while, but you can’t expect to live a normal life when abusing any type of drugs.

Do you want to live your life running in, and out of treatment centers, or worse, jails, and prison’s the rest of your life, or hang out with people that will never amount to anything unless they stop as well?

I am not sure where you are at, whether you are just experimenting, using occasionally, or every day. But you are probably dong this with other friends, and none of you have a clue about what you are getting yourselves into. You may be doing it alone, making it an even more dangerous prospect because if something goes wrong, no on will be there to help you.

  Various psychoactive substances 

You may not make it as far as I did, and could easily die from complications. Drugs nowadays are being cut with all kinds of crap, even though the people selling the stuff say it’s the real deal. Bootlegged pharmaceuticals may have adulterants in them as well, you just never know.

The heroin back in the late 60’s was very dangerous because of its purity. A $1.00 penny cap of heroin could lay you out for 12 hours. I OD’d on one dollar worth of heroin on the eastside of Detroit when I was sixteen years old, and was thrown out into an alley to die. But heroin, and other drugs are just as deadly today as they were back then. Some dead celebrities found that out the hard way.

Stop, if you haven’t already. This is not the way to deal with whatever is bothering you. If your friends are using also, you must break away. When the going gets rough in this game, you will find that they weren’t your “real” friends to begin with, like say, if you went to prison. How many of them would send you money or come visit you if they are using drugs also? You must leave all that behind. Get some help, finish school, go back to school, college, whatever it was that you were doing before this nightmare started. You will not amount to anything if you keep using drugs, man.

It just isn’t worth the pain, misery, and grief. Find someone to talk to about your feelings that is not using drugs. You can’t keep running from those problems, because everywhere you run, you’re taking them with you. Drugs have only a temporary benefit, they help you forget about your problems, and feelings, but they will always be there unless you learn how to cope with them.

Changing your life around involves doing it for yourself, not for anyone else. That sounds selfish, but it is the only way. I know why you do what you do, but I am not sure you do yet, or if told, whether you would believe it, or not.

Again, I understand what you are dealing with, even if I don’t know you personally. I care a lot about people caught up in the nightmare, but that doesn't make me an easy pushover. I also am very street wise, and perceptive, along with having an education. The streets of Detroit, and prison have a way of educating a person unlike anything in a school when it comes to the drug world. I have an advantage over anyone who has not been through this, and came out of it alive.

Rethink what you are doing. You lost your compass in the jungle somewhere, and you need help in finding it again. That doesn’t mean you are a bad person because you lost your way. People still love you; they are worried about you. I don’t want to see you at my age regretting the choices you made in life.

You can’t change what happened in your life, you can only learn to live with it. Don’t let your feelings dictate your actions when it comes to drugs. Right now you feel like you belong with your friends, that you all have something in common, and they won’t judge you for what you are doing. Dude, friends do not let friends use drugs. You can’t drown your sorrows, worries, and grief in chemicals because they all know how to swim.

When young people start using drugs in their teens, and younger, it starts to alter their brain chemistry. both physically, and emotionally. Altering your brain chemistry like this makes you much more susceptible to addiction.

This is a struggle, I won’t lie about that. But it does get easier as time passes. If you don’t deal with these problems now, you are going to be in for a nightmare the likes of which a Hollywood writer couldn’t dream up.

I know that if you get a handle on this now, it will be so much easier for you to put this behind you. You can do this. Don’t let yourself down like this man. Do something now before you can’t turn your life around, or screw up your life so bad you won’t want to change. There are people who care about you. I am one of them because I’ve been there, and know the struggles.

Deep down inside of you is a person wanting to fit in, be loved, and cared about. We all need that. Drug addiction becomes a lonely world far removed from love, caring, compassion, honesty, the good things in life. Don't let that pass you by.

Be strong.

Hopefully you can use this letter to nudge your loved one, and/or friend into thinking about getting help before it is too late. It comes from the heart.

If you or a loved one needs help with any type of drug problem, contact these sites depending on where you live. SEMCA (Wayne County residents), CARE (Macomb County residents), PACE (Oakland County residents), Drug Free Detroit (City of Detroit residents). For those residing outside the State of Michigan, contact SAMHSA for assistance.

In the flow...

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