If things go as the Canadian government under Stephen Harper and his usual gang of idiots assume, then Santa Claus will need a Canadian passport by the fall of 2014.
So, if Canada takes over the north pole, then Buddy the Elf will need a Canadian pass port to return to the pole to visit his elfish family. And, Santa will have to get the Transport Board of Canada to safety check his sleigh, and he'll also have to apply for a Canadian pass port, plus start contributing to the unemployment insurance fund, plus begin following numerous Canadian safety rules and he'll need to study up on his inter-provincial trade rules. Hey, it could happen!
Justin Bieber recently said he is going to soon retire. This announcement will be retracted before the beginning of May. Remember, you read it here first.
Somewhere in Canada, in July of 2014, snow will fall.
And, if Canada doesn't win a bunch of gold medals during the 2014 Winter Olympics, including gold in hockey and speed skating, yowls of protest will be heard from coast to coast to coast, but tax payers will refuse to fund any additional winter sport training programs.
The expansion Ottawa Red/Blacks will win a game during the 2014 CFL season. Maybe not many more than that, but they will win at least one game. And they should probably change their team name. Rouge et Noir sounds much better.
Praise the hockey gods and pass the cookies. And a happy nude year to you and yours.