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Stuff Managers Like #5 - Using the 'bad economy' card

Whether they admit it or not, managers secretly like the bad economy.  It serves as an excellent alternative to actually giving truthful responses to an employee's issue, concern and question.

The bad economy is the perfect situation for a manager to get away with easy answers to difficult questions.  Employee's simply accept the answer as legit which reduces any risk of using the bad economy as a constant fallback. 

Below are some example employee questions to demonstrate the power of using the "bad economy" card at the office and the truth the manager is avoiding:

1. Why are you scheduling meetings at 5pm?

Usual answer: "Well, we had some scheduling conflicts and this was the only time that worked."

Bad economy answer: "Because budgets are tight right now and we need to make up for it."

The unsaid truth: "Because I'm an [expletive]-hole and I expect you to stay here as long as I do." 

2. Why are you suddenly asking for status reports everyday?

Usual answer: "It is what it is...it is what it is."

Bad economy answer: "Sometimes you just have to deal with stuff in a bad economy.  Unfortunately this is one of them."

The unsaid truth: "My supervisor told me to do it.  They will eventually be deleted off the Sharepoint site in 6 months.  During that 6 months absolutely no one will ever open one of these status reports."

3. Why are you wearing a suit all of the sudden?

Usual answer: "The execs are in the office today."

Bad economy answer: "You need to start wearing a suit also.  Now that the economy is in the toilet, we need to start dressing professional."

The unsaid truth: "Because I'm an absolute d-bag and overdress to impress and I feel like you will perform as well as I if you dress like me, though there are no studies proving this to be true."

4. What happened to the hazelnut coffee?

Usual answer: "[Insert name here] drank all of it. He drinks 7 soup bowls of coffee everyday."

Bad economy answer: "We were looking to cut costs and Hazelnut coffee is 15% more expensive than regular coffee."

The unsaid truth: "Because we are a company of absolute morons and Hazelnut coffee was at the top of the list of cost cutting measures even though it trimmed only $800 off our annual budget."

5. Why didn't I get a raise?

Usual answer: "You know, I tried to shift things around as much as I could but there just wasn't a big budget this year for raises.  We'll try to get you setup for a mid-year promotion and see if we can get you a bump in pay in June or July."

Bad economy answer: "With the bad economy and all, we are just unable to give anyone a raise at this point in time."

The unsaid truth: "Though we did make quite a hefty profit this year, we are confident that you are too afraid to leave this position out of fear that you cannot find a job.  Therefore, we are not doing you any favors this year."

View the full list of Stuff Managers Like or View Dudley B. Dawson's Top Rated Stories on the right.

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Dudley Bernard Dawson is the best known "Parachute" journalist west of the Mississippi River. His cultural criticisms often lack evidence but his handsome looks are second to none.

Comments

  • Maureen 3 years ago

    This is incredibly insensitive given that there are millions of people dealing with big problems because of the 'bad economy'. These managers are not using a card as you say. It is the truth.

  • Tobias 3 years ago

    No hazelnut? You bastards!

  • Dudley B. Dawson 3 years ago

    You are right. The best medicine is sensitivity.

  • Tobias 3 years ago

    Maureen, I think you have this site confused with sites that are legitimate news sources. I'll give you some examples to help you out. Here are some examples of legitimate news sources: cnn.com, nytimes.com, weather.com and espn.com. Here are some examples of illegitimate news sources: zombo.com, yourethemannowdog.com, foxnews.com, and this site. The first sites I listed should be where you get your news, weather and sports scores with a very low risk of being offended.

    If you understand that this is an illegitimate news site and you simply feel the need to lash out at anything you find offensive on the internet, I'd suggest you stretch out your typin' fingers. Because there are literally millions of porno sites out there, and you've got a lot of angry emails to write.

  • Maureen 3 years ago

    I don't agree with you are lashing out at me but I will admit that I had not reviewed the contents of this website. I was under the impression that this was an Examiner newspaper.

  • Cal Jammer 3 years ago

    Maureen,
    Don't listen to Tobias. He's just bitter because he got fired from the esteemed examiner.com after getting caught with his trousers unbuckled while surfing GILF porn. This is one of the finest newspapers in the WORLD and don't let anybody tell you differently. Also check out peoplewhodeserveit.com Barack Obama posts regularly on that site. It focuses on good folks who were unfairly laid off and how they deserve new jobs. Its very sensitive and quite emotionally moving. Sort of like Extreme Makeover Home Edition on ABC.

  • Tobias 3 years ago

    I was also looking at G-GILF porn and G-G-GILF porn.

  • Jill 2 years ago

    Dudley did it again - when in doubt, make fun of the people that keep you down where you belong. Your distaste for management is apparent. It's obvious that adhering to your advice leads you nowhere in life.

  • Bala 2 years ago

    I am not allowed to laugh out this loud at office, man. you crack me up!!

  • Suede 2 years ago

    Maureen has upper managment potential.

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