Skip to main content
  1. Arts & Entertainment
  2. Celebrity

Students vie for community service hours at gov't pot stash on campus

See also

With approval of marijuana usage by Americans at a new high, the government is ‘rolling a few’ for legal research projects.

The Government’s ‘stash’ sits on a 12-acre fenced garden on the campus of the University of Mississippi in Oxford.

Needless to say, students line up for a chance at accumulating community service hours weeding and tending to the plants.

“Students enrolled in our botanical courses have first dibs on ‘anything that falls on the ground in the course of the moving or trimming process” says Dean Wormer, “It’s a perk we award to only the highest achievers.”

Wormer is former head of legacy admissions at Faber College prior to his position at U of Mississippi as grounds-keeper of the government’s high profile plot.

“Since each plant is numbered and photographed each week, the occasional clipping of a bud or two for personal study is frowned upon and will be dealt with ‘harshly’ and we’re talking about a possible ‘double secret probation’ here.

This does not mean students cannot revel in the overwhelming aroma of a fresh legal ‘field of dreams’ during their stint in the research garden.”

“There’s something cool about ‘self-medicating’ and we think the entire student body should get in on this” said botanical student Jimmy ‘Ragahead’ Mumford.

Some of the crop is shipped to Research Triangle Institute in North Carolina, where it’s rolled into cigarettes, both at taxpayer expense and through generous grants from Frito-Lay, Ben and Jerry’s and Hot Pockets brands.

“We’re trying to scientifically establish a link between smoking weed and junk food consumption. When we can do that, we’ll fund whatever studies they want”, said Johnny Herbst, a spokesperson for the snack food industry.


Arts & Entertainment

  • Ted Nugent
    Ted Nugent concert at Native American casino canceled because of obvious reasons
  • Fifty Shades of Grey
    The first 'Fifty Shades of Grey' trailer has been released, leaving fans wanting more
    Movies Buzz
  • Music festivals
    150 years of major American music festivals are rooted in Rhode Island
    17 Photos
  • Billy Corgan
    Billy Corgan receives Vanguard Awards at AMPAs in Cleveland
    13 Photos
  • Celebrity tattoos
    We're not sure what some of these celebrities were thinking when they decided to get inked
    23 Photos
  • John Stamos
    John Stamos talks about love, life and being tired of Uncle Jesse
    Today's Buzz