Being a single mother is not for the weak nor is it for those who don’t take parenting seriously. Whether by choice or by circumstance, single mothering is a delicate issue and the call of being a single mother is a high one especially when the mother is raising a son.
This is a delicate issue and the mother must be strategic in how she chooses to raise him. Although the son may be raised in the same household in a sister, the mother must recognize that he cannot be raised in the same way the daughter can be raised. Not that the same character rules don’t apply but the fact is, he is not a daughter, he is a son.
The statistics of sons being raised in a home headed by a female are not encouraging at all. But in this case, the focus will be on how to successfully raise a son brought up in this situation. The thing that will spearhead being successful is to have the mindset that “my son will not be a statistic.” Although informative and useful in literature, this pejorative evidence does not have to be the case in your household. The mother has to decide in what direction she will raise her son and fight to stay the course of that direction.
Statistics clearly indicate that children brought up in a household with both parents fair better. But if this is not the case, one of the best things a mother can do for her son is to try to maintain a positive relationship with the father. If the father is a good role model and wants to raise his son, then it would be advantageous for the mother to allow the father to be a part of his son’s life. A great disservice is done to the child when there is a father who truly wants to be a father but is not allowed to because the mother refuses to let him in the child’s life. This cannot be stressed enough-regardless of relational issues or differences between a mother and father, if the father will be a positive influence on his son then it would do a world of good to that child to allow his father to be involved. Selfishness has no place in this matter.
But for so many children, the aforementioned is not the case. So, what’s a mother to do? She is to raise her son with all of her might with the determination that he will be a man, a good man and will make his mark on society. To help achieve this, the mother must be extremely cognizant of who she allows in and out of her life. Sons are very impressionable and because men are visual, he takes in what he sees. Since his mother is the first female in his life, she will be the commander of how he views women. Friends and associates, whether male or female will cast an impression on a son. If a friend possesses characteristics that a mother doesn’t want her son to possess, then there is a choice that has to be made and it’s an easy choice to make. The mother is a watchman of who walks through her door and she should always be on guard. Also, a mother should be mindful of where she leaves her son or daughter for that matter. Children can’t just be “dropped off” anywhere and with just anybody. The mother should have a relationship with whomever she leaves her children with knowing that the child will be left in a safe environment with those who have shared views of how children should be raised and cared for.
Male role models can also provide a great help for mothers raising sons but just like anything else, this needs to be attended to with great care and discretion. The mentor’s credibility should be investigated and taken into account. The mother should not only consider external success but look deeper into internal qualities? What type of integrity does the man possess? Is he honest? Will my son be safe if left alone with him? What is his personal life like? What do others say about him? When he talks, what do you hear-not what he wants you to hear but what do you hear? What does his life say about him? These are just a few questions a mother should ponder when choosing a role model for her son.
Being a single mother raising a son can be challenging but if done with wisdom, it will reap great rewards!
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