I am a counselor in Oklahoma City. I have been a mental health counselor for about 25 years. Couples therapy seems to be very popular, and with this series of articles on couple stress, I have received many calls.
So many people start with complaints when they call, but what they really want to talk about is happiness, hope and how to get there.
Someone used the word sanguine recently, and it is a word that doesn't have much air time these days. It appears by definition to be a comprehensive term that asks that looks at the personhood as well as the mood.
Kind of like 12 step when they say "constitutionally capable." Is a person in their whole person interested, willing and able to get to a more peaceful and pleasant place.... or perhaps does the person only know conflict and argument? Unsteadiness? Is your coupleship "constitutionally capable"?
Many couples don't seem to have much method to measure their personhood. Either with regards to how their life is going as a freestanding individual or in their availability as a possible member of a couple. So personhood is one thing and coupleship is another thing.
Maybe the best question is what measures sanguine for you?
Some people use faith teachings, family traditions and/or cultural norms. What is on your list of what makes you sanguine? What makes your partner sanguine? Did you come up with it on your own, or is it shared between the two of you? Did you have any fun coming up with it, or that too was some chore or obligation?