Straight supporters of gay marriage make huge sacrifice, prove anti-equality forces wrong

Stanford LBGTQ and straight allies support a marriage boycott to urge repeal of DOMA. Photo: Amanda Gellender

In November 2008, aghast at the passage in California of Proposition 8—the ballot intitiative that rescinded the right of gay and lesbian couples to marry—a group of LGBTQ and straight Stanford University students conceived of a way to fight back for equality: they began to organize a nationwide boycott of marriage for all couples. 

The National Marriage Boycott (NMB) movement has since sprouted chapters at colleges and high schools across the country, including UCLA, UCSB, UCSD, the University of Idaho, Pomona College, Columbia, Wesleyan, Boston University and Williams.  The movement has also garnered the support of such notables as former California Congresswoman Sally Lieber and recently discharged “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” activist Lt. Dan Choi.

In a Huffington Post interview, NMB co-director Alexis Ortega characterizes the organization as a “student-driven movement to urge President Obama to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA),” which prevents federal recognition of same-sex marriage and allows states to refuse recognition of same-sex marriages performed legally in other states. As a candidate, Obama campaigned in part on a promise to repeal DOMA, but this promise no longer appears on the White House website.

Participants in the boycott sign an online pledge not to get married until DOMA is repealed, and wear a ring bearing the word “equality” to advocate for their position. Supporters of the movement who are already married are invited to wear the NMB rings instead of, or next to, their wedding rings. National Marriage Boycotters are also encouraged to help organize and recruit new members.

Ironically, the NMB movement directly contradicts one of the chief talking points of the “Family Values” establishment: Anti-equality stalwarts such as James Dobson and the Weekly Standard have long held that allowing gays to marry will discourage heterosexuals from marrying, which they claim has already happened in Scandinavia; yet in this case, prohibiting gays from marrying is what has soured straight people on marriage.

Find more photos like this on National Marriage Boycott; slideshow Urvi Nagrani
 

As for the courageous straight allies spearheading this movement, they are to be commended for their idealistic solidarity with the LGBT community. They are pledging to make a huge sacrifice—voluntarily giving up the 1,138 federal rights that come with marriage but are denied to gays, including tax benefits, partner immigration rights, Social Security benefits, alimony, child support and visitation rights, veteran’s pensions, and spousal immunity in court cases—not to mention 300-400 state rights and the less tangible (but arguably more significant) benefits of universal social recognition and dignity.

While the support of the NMB is greatly appreciated and indispensible to the struggle for LGBT equality, straight allies will certainly be forgiven if they later change their minds about their pledges, especially if they have children. Surely no one would begrudge them the choice to receive the rights, protections and respect we all deserve.