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Stop texting and talk to each other

Texting should not replace talking to your crush
Texting should not replace talking to your crush
Photo by Mireya Acierto/Getty Images

Remember dating in the days before cell phones and caller ID? Your family had a clunky telephone attached to a wall that could only stretch as far as the hall closet, where you would sit and talk in the dark for privacy from prying parents and siblings.

Even worse than having your dad answer the phone when your crush called was actually calling your crush and having to explain who you were and why you were calling to his/her nosy parent. That was after debating for hours about whether or not to even make the dreaded phone call in the first place!

Now with the invention of smartphones, texting, Facebook, Skype, FaceTime, Twitter and the endless Internet options available to people, actual phone calls have basically become near extinct.

What does that mean for dating?

In the modern world, communication has become less about love letters and endless phone conversations and more about brief texts devoid of punctuation and capitalization accompanied by sexy selfies: usually shirtless men in their bathrooms and women making that silly duck face.

In the process of starting a new relationship, it is so important to speak to each other, to hear each other’s voice and learn how your communication styles mesh, or don’t mesh. Texting allows for more anonymity and less vulnerability within a conversation, and it is easy to simply stop answering if you don’t have anything interesting to say. Having a real conversation, whether on the phone or in person, forces people to be engaged in the moment and more attentive to whom is on the other end and what he/she is saying.

Actually speaking with people also makes you more accountable for what you say, and more inclined to be sensitive to how someone responds to your words. You are less likely to recognize that you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, or that your message has been misinterpreted through a text.

Besides, isn’t half the fun of talking to someone new hearing their laughter when you tell a stupid joke, or feeling your heart jump when he/she says something juicily flirty? Isn’t the decent thing to tell someone that you are no longer interested instead of taking the cowardly route and texting that message?

Technology has come a long way from sitting in a dark closet on a landline, but you might find that it is kind of fun to take the old-fashioned route. The next time you pick up your phone to start typing a text to your new crush, hit the “call” button instead. Smartphone in hand and butterflies in your stomach, you’ll almost be able to hear the smile in their voice when they answer the phone.