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Stop putting yourself down!


Your guy thinks your beautiful so stop arguing with him. Women have that special gene called the “inferiority complex”. Even the most confident of us have had moments of inferiority. I was chatting with a guy pal recently who had just broken up with his girlfriend. The relationship was seemingly perfect and I was shocked to find out that they were done, and the reason why. She was constantly putting herself down in front of him and he got to the point where he couldn’t take it any longer.

Men are problem solvers, so when you say something bad about yourself, they want to try to convince you otherwise, or think it’s a trap and not say anything. Either way they go, they can’t win this fight. My friend was tired of trying to convince her that her hair looks amazing and her butt doesn’t look huge and that he thinks she is, indeed, prettier than her best friend. He stopped complimenting her because every time he did she’d disagree and say something negative about the compliment as if to prove him wrong. Her constant complaining and insecurities ruined their relationship. He dreaded going out anymore because of how much she hated the way she looked and the constant approval she needed just to walk out the door and have a nice evening.

This goes for men too. Men who put themselves down are not attractive to women. I’ve dated men who constantly talked about how horrible they are at sports or how much hair they don’t have. I (and women) are with you because we find you attractive and we like (or love) who you are and how you look. We all have to get over the fact that the media has put this shallow bug in our ear telling us what we should look like. The case is most people know that real people do not look like those in the magazines. It’s almost humanly impossible.

He is with you and thinks you’re beautiful. Attraction is a large part of the whole package, but so is confidence. Stop comparing yourself to your friends or movie stars. You don’t look like them, because you look like you, and are beautiful in your own right. Your uniqueness is what he finds riveting, hot, beautiful, and loves you for it. When he gives you a compliment say “thank you” and smile! Don’t argue the fact. He is complimenting you because he is sincere and he wants to make you smile, not cry or feel insecure.

More than likely no one is even going to notice if you are not a size 2 or that you forgot to put on your earrings. Look around the room. If you weren’t paying attention, would you notice all the size 12’s or 14’s or the women who aren’t wearing earrings or forgot to put on blush? Probably not if you were just going about your business, so why are you so worried about these things? When you’re feeling blue, wear things that make you feel good, and you will look good, because you are confident. Hey, I can’t wear most of the latest trends either and I’m not a size 2 or 5’9, but I try to wear the clothes in my closet that look good for my body type and find something about myself that I think looks amazing, tell myself so, and walk out of the door with a confident stride. It helps me when I’m feeling down and out about my appearance. Try that, or something that works for you, and watch the compliments pour in, and when they do, remember to smile and just say “thank you”.

Photo:  Content © 2010 Corbis All rights reserved.


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