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Paula Andrea Pyle, M.A. Ed

MODE of Cosmic Therapy: What IT is, We Can Not Say and What We Say, IT Can Not Be.

Competence and Confidence; how are they related? Or, are they? If we consider ourselves to be competent, does this so-called confidence arise naturally from the specified experience of validated competence? Or does the experience associated with confidence ‘stay on the surface of things’ (having to be renewed over and over) to continually prove the level of expertise, once the particular hailed experiment/event/situation is over?

In other words, how do we hone a certain ability enough to be competent and confident with the knowledge gained, developed and demonstrated without having to “prove our worth and merit” continually? And, should we feel the need to prove our expertise in any area of life, are we not placed in a defensive position whereby the competence is questioned and the confidence doubted?

Some may argue that confidence is an inborn trait and can not
necessarily be developed by perfecting a certain craft, skill, talent or gift. But, whoever would take this position, has not done his/her homework in actuality to ‘establish, cultivate and maintain’ expanded potential.

Competence comes through repetitious practice until the act is
perfected. Then, confidence rides piggy back on the polished competence from the very fact that one does not have to ‘think’ about what is being achieved. Yes, thinking interferes with the competence and therefore inhibits confidence.

In order, to learn to ride a bicycle with ease, one must practice, fall repeatedly and work with the laws of gravity until balance is preserved. But, even then, the magic of riding a bike happens of its own accord without the aid, interference or assistance of the rider. Once accomplished, no one can unlearn.

In much the same way, when one learns to play the guitar; expedient, exhausting and exquisite balance is ‘established and maintained’. He/she will have to practice, with callous bleeding fingers, for at least 10,000 tedious ‘seemingly non-productive’ hours to become a mediocre musician. (Ask any true artist/performer)

The inexpressible experience of perfecting a craft will never be
conveyed through words. If you talk about it, it is not perfected. If you think about it, you are not perfecting it. Competence pours out of the cracks where what ‘you think you are doing or have done, so well’ can and does fall immediately short and into the ambiguous gap “of not knowing how you do it” and to the stark place of awareness of where you KNOW you have not arrived.

Confidence, like competence, is amorphous! When one seeks to take hold by needing, wanting, desiring to exploit, capture or seize the essence, it disappears. This is especially true when one feels that he/she is ‘put on display’ to perform for the audience; entertaining them with the expected majesty of the aforementioned talent, gift or skill.

If we are, truly-without a minuscule speck or parasitical remnant of doubt- executing competently and confidently, we are not participating in the world of doing so; nor are we conscious of doing it. In other words, we are not affected by the experience nor are we able to relay how it is accomplished.

To take credit or blame for the act of display is sheer vain stupidity. Can we explain how we walk? We may describe the muscular movements involved, but can we essentially define what intangible mobilizing force causes us to stand and move backward/sideways/forward while continuing to do so?

NO. The unspeakable mysterious divine relationship expressed in
walking, like breathing, remains a sacred secret from which there is no definitive explanation for the starting and stopping of it. We can only know so much with the limited access we have to time, sequence and present accumulated and recorded comprehensive understanding.

So, how can we possibly express what can’t be authentically relayed in any human sphere of activity? By releasing the idea that we are the originators of it and that WE facilitate its excellence. Furthermore, believing we are entitled or worthy of the ‘special’ gift will certainly rob us of both ‘competence and confidence’ faster and quicker than any act of invoked attrition.

Contrary as it may sound, irrevocable laws govern both ‘competence and confidence’. These immovable consecrated laws are formed by a constant unceasing unerring ‘opposition of forces’ which continually adjust themselves by mixing, blending, separating and coagulating.

In simple terms, the perfected act of grace (proficiency) seeks
expression through you but you will never be able to grasp the enormity of its deified interaction. Needless to say, an exclusively hallowed act of soul’s creative power will be perfected and exclaimed mistakenly as one’s own ‘competence and confidence’ by the person who performs it.

A total surrender (including all of the risk and sacrifice) is
required and demanded for the ineffable experienced to be incredulously witnessed (first by the human being enacting it) and then, by the spectators who are amazed by the display of action.

Transparency reveals the quintessence of genuine competency and
confidence. Meaning: if we hold onto any aspect of ourselves in
relation to the gift we are utilizing/expressing, (taking credit or blame for its outcome) we harbor insidious torturous arrowed angles of self- imposed barriers which will break/wound us, needlessly.

Realize we can only materialize a ‘hint’ of the actualization of the perfected craft. There is nothing to compare with the ‘parade of glorified demonstration’ of the momentary perfected potential, in the experience, but it cannot be defined, captured, interpreted or misinterpreted as belonging to us. We mysteriously remain outside of its captivating engulfing presence (competence) while at the same time, enraptured and enmeshed in its sublime totality (confidence).

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