Skip to main content
  1. Arts & Entertainment
  2. Celebrity

Startling new Olympic Games competitions

See also

“These will be the Olympic games you will remember” intoned Vladimir Putin “Try not to think about the lack of potable water, no door knobs and stray dogs in your room, the Russian people love you!

More Photos

By the way, there’s no truth to the rumor that we embedded chips that monitor clandestine activity in those stray dogs adopted by Olympic athletes.

And not one gay person was arrested and forced to do hard labor for their crime in two weeks! Two weeks! That’s an eternity!

We are, however, investigating the fact that the costumes worn by our skaters were produced by artistic people who wear flamboyant clothing.

Although I love the music of Pussy Riot, I can’t listen to them unless I’m in my private underground torture chamber. Those secret police are so intrusive!

We spent 50 billion dollars and created dozens of jobs, a few kilometers of new roadway, 12 ultra-modern performance spaces that will ultimately be used for storage and some well-connected citizens with an extra billion in their pocket.

And which of my friends can’t use an extra billion or two?

We helped expand the Olympic Games to include some new categories. I’m posting pictures of the winners here.

Love, Vladimir.


Arts & Entertainment

  • Tori Spelling
    Tori Spelling candidly talks about her husband's cheating and her future
    Today's Buzz
  • Jazz Fest
    Music and cultural festivals sweep the nation this month, see where the fun is
    Festivals Buzz
  • Monsters Inc
    Pixar challenges eagle-eyed viewers to hunt for Easter eggs in their films
    Join the Fun
  • KFC Double Down
    KFC is bringing back it's infamous Double Down chicken sandwich
    Pop Culture
  • Angelina Jolie
    Knives, jets and typewriters: What your favorite stars obsess over
    Celebrity Buzz
  • Paul Walker
    Paul Walker's brothers will be standing in for him during filming of 'Fast 7'
    Today's Buzz

User login

Log in
Sign in with your email and password. Or reset your password.
Write for us
Interested in becoming an Examiner and sharing your experience and passion? We're always looking for quality writers. Find out more about and apply today!