A 2005 survey commissioned by YellowPages showed that nearly 3 out of 4 US adults conduct spring cleaning. Of those who had planned to clean that year, the number 1 priority among women at the time was to complete projects that clean the inside of the house. Men on the other had planned to focus more on outside tasks such as yard work and cleaning the gutters. Another study sponsored by the Soap and Detergent Association revealed that the top spring cleaning priorities are the kitchen, living room, the master bedroom and the bathrooms.
Background
The ritual of cleaning to bring in the spring is nothing new. According to the Spring Cleaning: History and Origin, by Pottery Barn, spring cleaning was brought to North America by European settlers. But, you may ask, "What does this have to do with strengthening the marriage?" Well you might say that the presence of clutter adds stress and frustration. An environment nonconductive to a healthy, functioning relationship. Research bares this out in work settings according to the National Association of Professional Organizations. Studies show that the average person wastes 4.3 hours per week searching for papers thereby causing a reduction in concentration and creativity.
Using Visualization to Clean the Clutter in Your Mind
But let’s go a step further. What about removing the clutter from your mind? Why not create a spring cleaning ritual to rid your brain’s database of all of the negative things stored in your memory? You'll want to place in the trash bin all the negative thoughts that have occurred within your relationship this past winter, month, week or even those that happened today. Psychiatrists use visualization as a calming technique for traumatized patients; alternative therapists use visualization to help clients re-program dysfunctional thought processes. Why not use visualization to enhance your marriage? Here is a spring cleaning ritual to try.
Spring Cleaning Exercise to Enhance your Marriage Relationship
- Go to a quiet space.
- Sit in a comfortable position.
- Thank the source of creation for your beingness and ask for protection and guidance.
- Visualize that you are in a tranquil place (beach, mountain top, sitting by a camp fire, etc)
- Take a slow deep breath.
- Count backwards from 10 to 1.
- Close your eyes.
- Invite your spouse to your tranquil place. Your significant other is there with you. You are embracing each other and surrounded by a golden glow (aura).
- Imagine the sun shining on your and your spouse. Reflect upon the loving feelings you feel.
- Now, envision clean rain falling down on the two of you. You enjoy it and so does your significant other. If you imagine getting intimate, that is ok too.
- Visualize the rain washing away all of the dirty feelings and occurrences.
- This may last for a few minutes. Continue to visualize the rain dropping from the sky and landing on your head until you see the water has finally reached your feet. The water should dissolve into the ground.
- You may name the hurtful feelings, incidents when you felt slighted or disrespected, etc. Picture these thoughts outside of your protective aura.
- Now—you can either focus loving and tender thoughts on these feelings of negativity until you see them disappear or you might take a fire ball of light, throw them at the negative visualizations and watch the negative words, incidents or thoughts slowly disappear. Another approach would be to send flowers of love to the negative thoughts until you see them disappear.
- In this visualization exercise, in your mind you may argue with your spouse. That is ok too. But you must use this ritual to end the discussion peacefully. Continue to feel the peace and love surrounding you and your spouse in your tranquil environment (beach, mountain top, and camp fire).
- After the negative thoughts have disappeared, turn to your spouse, hug him/her.
- Imagine the two of you looking around and enjoying the peaceful view within your protective aura of gold.
- Thank your creator for the time to reflect upon life and your relationship and ask for protection and support of your relationship.
- End the session.
Negative Thoughts Destroy Healthy Brain and Relationship Functioning
According to Dr. Daniel Amen, the brain is a three pound supercomputer. Actually, he reports that the brain is more complicated that any computer we could possibly imagine. For instance, the brain houses one hundred billion nerve cells. Each nerve cell connects to other nerve cells. It is interesting too that Dr. Amen notes that the thoughts that enter and stay in our minds minute by minute significantly impacts how our brain works.
Dr. Mark George, National Institutes of Heath also demonstrated through research that happy, hopeful thoughts have an overall calming effect while negative thoughts damage areas of the brain involved with depression and anxiety. Separate studies show that the rumination of negative thoughts increases the likelihood that persons aged 60 or older will experience late-onset depression.
Conclusion
So give the spring cleaning ritual a try. The brain influences our emotional well being, it is involved in everything we do. Having healthy thoughts are essential to being the best we can possibly be; whether at home, work or in our most intimate relationships. Would you agree that spring cleaning our brains to enhance our marriage relationship could take precedence in cleaning the inside or outside of our homes—hands down?
Web Resources
YellowPage Study: http://files.shareholder.com/downloads/INFO/0x0x106575/b4e53394-fdee-4521-bafc-900152f41bd2/165837.pdf
ICR Study: http://www.icrsurvey.com/Study.aspx?f=Spring_Cleaning.html
Room Cleaning Rankings: http://www.furninfo.com/absolutenm/templates/News.asp?articleid=9895&z=8
Dr. Amen’s Website: http://www.cerebromente.org.br/n16/opiniao/seven-ways3.htm
Brain Function: http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/brain-function-and-negative-thinking-linked-to-late-onset-depression-10870.html
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