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Spouses likely to share kidney disease: catching others' beliefs

A survivor is carried onto a waiting ambulance.
A survivor is carried onto a waiting ambulance.
AP Photo/Ng Han Guan

Spouses likely to share kidney disease” is the headline on Reuters this morning. One of the conclusions: “For the spouses, the odds of having the debilitating disease more than doubled compared to the general population, and even exceeded those of the patients’ relatives.”

Of course it’s immediately obvious that spouses tend to share the same lifestyles and eating habits. But the authors don’t know why the coincident rate is so high. (One time on a visit to my mother in Pennsylvania, my girlfriend back in Ohio called to tell me she had a terrible stomach ache. About an hour later I threw up.)

In terms of the Law of Attraction, anything we focus on becomes part of our vibration, and we definitely pay attention to our loved ones. When someone intimate in your life is engaged in a consuming, long-term challenge, can you focus on their situation every day and not have the essence of it happen to you? Yes.

The key is understanding your role.

It’s not what we think about, it’s how we interpret what we think about. An ambulance rushes to an accident. Most at the horrific scene have a sinking feeling, concerned for the people involved. But what are the people in the ambulance thinking? “I can help someone, maybe even save a life.” They know they’ll receive appreciation and even get paid for their role in this event. This is the same for physicians.

Just because you mother gets cancer doesn’t mean you have to.

As long as the helpers don’t identify with the people they are helping, they’re fine. This is most challenging for children watching a parent deal with a severe illness. We expect to be like our parents in many ways. Given the false beliefs we’ve been taught about heredity, how can a daughter not have fear when her mother is diagnosed with breast cancer? By understanding the Law of Attraction—and epigenetics.

We are bound much less by our genes than we had thought. They may be hardwired, but the levers that activate them are not. Our bodies and our lives are based on the foundation of our parents’ genes and beliefs, but how we express these is entirely up to us.

It’s easier to catch a belief from those you love than to catch a cold.

When a loved one has taken on a major physical challenge, as long as you understand your role does not include being like your friends and relatives in every negative way, you are free to live your own life. As long as you believe this specific negative turn in their path has nothing to do with your future, then you are fine.

Your relatives and friends are making choices that you cannot control. Knowing you do not have to take their path, takes away the fear that they made those choices. If they are caught up in the many negative beliefs thrown at us every day, the best you can do is stay strong and healthy yourself.

Misery loves company, but misery loves a beacon of hope even more. That can be your role.

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