If most of us were being very, very honest with ourselves, we would admit and acknowledge that we loving having things go our way. The main reason why most men and women want wealth is so we can get out of debt and buy more material possessions; we want popularity and fame so we can receive more enthusiastic and flattering attention from people; and we want power so we can have more influence over how respectful people treat us as well as more influence over life's circumstances working in our favor.
Being involved in athletics in a boy or girl's pre-teen or teenage years helps them learn one valuable lesson: things are NOT going to always go their way, and many times they are going to end an athletic contest feeling angry, disappointed, frustrated, or even bitter and dejected. This is just how life is.
In today's society, you will find that most single heterosexual men are very wary of any dating advice offered to them by women and similarly, many women are also often times skeptical of any advice given to them by men. Why? The vast majority of men feel that women want to be in control of most marriages and romantic relationships and most women feel like men want to be control freaks and rule the roost with an iron fist. And you know what? Both genders are right.
Only a man (or woman) with no competitive spirit or no 'Alpha' qualities is willing to allow their opposite sex companion to take full control of the relationship as the ultimate decision-maker without any resistance. In the world of men, such behavior is referred to as 'passive,' 'weak,' and 'spineless.' A man who possesses these traits is often referred to as a 'Beta' male.
In previous centuries, it was almost a given that a girlfriend or wife was supposed to defer and submit to her boyfriend or husband. Well, times change (read the previous article, The rise of masculine, dominant women and effeminate, submissive men in today's society). If you watch many movies, television sitcoms, and even most of the supposed-to-be-lighthearted television commercials, you will frequently see women blatantly disrespecting men, and treating them like puppy dogs, idiots, and personal ego boosters and servants.
This brings us to this misguided notion of men being perceived as 'nice guys' vs. 'jerks' or 'a**holes.' Those labels are so misleading and invalid, it is not even funny. The starting point of evaluating a member of the opposite sex in many men's and women's minds is simply this: Does this person allow me to have my way when I want to have my way?
If a man refuses to allow a woman to have her way and behave like a spoiled brat regularly, more-than-likely she is going to label him a "jerk" or an "a**hole."
If a woman refuses to allow a man to have his cake and eat it too, and behave in a self-serving, highly egotistical manner, there is a greater than fifty-percent chance that this man is going to label that woman a "bitch."
The reality is, just because a man does not allow a woman to control him, dominate him, influence him, and/or manipulate him does not mean that he is a 'jerk' of any sort. That is a man with balls and backbone that refuses to tolerate a woman's spoiled and manipulative tendencies.
Similarly, if you are a man ... and a woman you are interacting with refuses to allow you to treat her like a doormat who you can verbally, emotionally, and physically abuse whenever you feel like it, this woman is not being a "bitch." She is simply letting you know that she has some degree of dignity and self-respect.
No one knows why Beyoncé's little sister, Solange, starting hitting and kicking popular rapper and Entertainment Mogul Jay-Z. Maybe Shawn Carter said something or did something to provoke Solange's aggressive, violent behavior ... or maybe the younger Knowles sibling is simply not a mature, emotionally stable human being (i.e., she is crazy). Why is Solange not being vilified in the media for her violent outburst? Most seem to be giving her the benefit of the doubt (e.g., "Jay-Z must have said something to her to get her going!"). We all know that if Jay-Z had cocked back his arm, and then delivered a blow that would have knocked Solange backwards, every feminist group in the country would have been calling for his head and his imprisonment.
Bottom line? Many times women ARE really "the victim" of mental, emotional and physical abuse by men, but there are other times when some women do a great job playing the role of the 'victim.' The latter scenarios are extremely bothersome to men with backbone and objective thinking, not to mention highly manipulative.
My advice to both genders would be this . . .
Women: If you want a man who is going to let you get away with murder (hopefully not literally), then find you a very polite, accommodating, deferential Beta male who is going to treat you like the 'queen' or 'princess' that you want to be treated like. BUT . . . do not grow bored of this type later, and go off telling your girlfriends, "My husband / boyfriend is such a WIMP! He never stands up to me! I can run all over him!!!" Is that not what you wanted in the first place? Make up your mind Ms. I-said-I-wanted-a-'Nice Guy.' (Let's be real ... many women marry a Beta male and cheat on him with a variety of Alpha males)
Men: Quit stressing out over whether or not a woman 'likes' you or 'dislikes' you, or perceives you as a 'nice guy' or a 'jerk.' None of that means ANYTHING in the big scheme of things. Just be a man. Be the man who you want to be, and the women who genuinely find your behavior appealing and sexy are going to eventually start gravitating toward you. It is really that simple. Do not keep changing, modifying, or suppressing your true manly ways and tendencies in order to please and appease women or to avoid being harshly criticized by them.
Dominant and spoiled men need to connect with obedient, submissive women. Dominant and spoiled women need to connect with passive, highly accommodating, subservient men. Any other scenario will simply not be mutually beneficial.
So women ... the next time a man calls you a 'bitch,' do not feel insulted. Feel complimented. That means you are not perceived by that man as a doormat who can be disrespected and abused at will.
Men ... the next time a woman calls you a 'jerk,' do not feel offended. Take pride in that label. More often than not, this means you have exhibited some balls and backbone with women and left them feeling egotistically frustrated that they cannot have their way with you.
And Jay-Z ... the next time a woman physically assaults you in an elevator in a seemingly unprovoked manner . . .
Well, on second thought, let us just end the article right here.
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie's latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format. You can also download a copy of Currie's eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone.
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